A Confused Heart
by xxKLxx
Summary: After putting off her marriage, Bella goes to college with Edward where she begins to question everything about her relationship & leans on a reliable friend for support. Begins at the end of eclipse after the battle. Contains cheating, drinking, suggestive scenes.
1. Chapter 1

I was kneeling next to his bed, afraid to get too close in case I hurt his recently re-broken bones. I was struggling with the newfound knowledge that I was in love with him, despite being head over heels for someone else. We were having a heart to heart, but it was mostly just him, getting his heart broken.

A smile flashed across his face briefly, and then he twisted his expression into a fierce scowl.

"Kissing me back like that was inexcusable". He spat the words at me. "If you knew you were just going to take it back, maybe you shouldn't have been quite so convincing about it".

I winced and nodded "I'm so sorry".

"Sorry doesn't make anything better, you should have just told me to go die. That's what you want".

"No, Jacob", I whimpered, fighting against the tears that were threatening to spill. I couldn't imagine a world without Jacob. Without the sun, my personal sun. "No, never!". The tears had now begun to fall.

He shifted his weight, throwing his good leg off the side as though he was about to stand.

"What are you doing?" I demanded through the tears.

"Lay down, you idiot, you'll hurt yourself". I jumped up and used both my hands on his good shoulder to push him back down.

He surrendered, leaning back with a gasp of pain but grabbed my waist and pulled me down on the bed, against his good side.

I felt a jolt of something unfamiliar as his hot skin brushed against the exposed skin on my side. I quickly brushed it aside.

"You're freezing" he murmured as he pulled me closer.

I curled up against his warmth, trying to stifle my growing sobs against his pillow. Eventually, they slowed and we laid there in silence.

My thoughts began to run wild. I felt at home here with Jacob, laying by his side as he held me close. Was I really doing the right thing by marrying Edward?

I was still only 17, but marriage was what Edward wanted and I wanted to be with Edward so I agreed to marry him. I could see two futures for myself, one where I married Edward, became a vampire and lived as an immortal creature for eternity. Rich beyond my wildest dreams with everything I could ever desire. I would leave behind everyone that I love and eventually they would all die. But at least I would have Edward.

In the other future, I could see myself growing old with Jacob, spending Christmas and Thanks Giving with Charlie or Billy or both, holidays with Renee. I saw two little black haired children running through the forests of La Push, sitting on Billy's knee around the campfire, listening to the stories of the Quileute people from long ago.

I found myself questioning everything I thought I wanted with Edward. I didn't want to lose my parents, my friends, Jake. I imagined the look on Charlies face when he would get the call that I had died. How could I do that to my family?

Jake brought his hand up and held his palm to my cheek.

"Bells, I'm going to give in" he whispered, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked, turning to face him.

"I'll be your friend Bella" He said quietly. "I won't ask for more than that".

"I think it's too late for that Jake, how can we be friends when we love each other like this?" my question was honest and full of emotion.

He stared up at the ceiling as if searching for an answer that was written there.

"Maybe… it will have to be a long-distance friendship" he answered. "I'm not going to tear you apart anymore Bella, I give up… Edward has won".

I understood what Jacob was saying. He was trying to prove to me that he loved me more than Edward. Enough to surrender. To let me follow the path I chose. That was the difficulty, laying here with Jacob felt so right, I could easily choose him right now.

He was quiet for a few moments. He seemed to be waiting for me to say something. I was trying to think of what to say, but was lost for words.

"Can I tell you what the worst part is Bella?" He said hesitantly, bringing me out of my thoughts once again.

"Will it help?" I whispered?

"It won't hurt" he answered. "The worst part is knowing what could have been" he said, when I didn't speak.

"What might have been" I sighed.

"No", Jacob shook his head. "I'm exactly right for you Bella. It would be as easy as breathing with me. You wouldn't have to change a thing". He stared up at the ceiling again and I waited, words evading me.

After a long pause, Jake's face changed. The seriousness disappeared and he said with a smile, "So you're getting married, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess". Jake was silent. He seemed to be thinking again.

"What do you mean? I thought you said yes to him?" Jake said with slight anxiety in his voice.

"I just don't know if it's what I really want. Not right now anyway" I said, truthfully. "I can't live without you Jake, or Charlie or Renee. I'll be giving up so much". He was silent again. "Maybe if I just put it off a few years, I will know for sure that it's what I want" I went on, hoping that he would understand how messed up I was feeling.

"well, I'll always be waiting in the wings Bella" he promised, releasing me from his grip. I pulled away and got up to leave, taking it as a sign that it was time for me to go. "You'll always have an option if you want it".

"Until my heart stops beating, right?" I said with an effort to smile

"Maybe even then… if I can stand to be around you" he said, grinning up at me.

"should I come back to see you?" I asked as I turned towards the door.

"maybe... just give me some... time?" he said with a wince that suggested he was in pain. I moved back towards him and leant down to kiss his head. He closed his eyes and with a smile, his breathing deepened as he drifted into a medication induced sleep.

As I walked out of Jacobs bedroom, I thought about everything that had gone through my head while I had laid next to Jake. I had questioned my future with Edward, that's clear. I loved Edward, and until this morning, I thought I loved _only_ Edward. But now I knew that my heart belonged equally to two men. And I had to choose.

As I drove away from Jacobs house, I couldn't contain my emotions any longer. I pulled over on the side of the road and broke down into heavy sobs that shook my whole body. I had to make a choice about who and what I wanted for my life. I had realised that the words I spoke to Edward when I told him that I loved him more than I loved Jacob were not entirely accurate. I loved them both. Both the same. There was not one of them that I could truthfully say I wanted more. Edward was my everything, he was the reason I lived, but Jacob was my soul mate, my sun. There was a choice I had to make, once and for all and I had to do it now.

After what felt like an eternity, I calmed down enough to start the engine of my truck and head for home.

By the time I pulled in the driveway at Charlies, I had made my decision. The path I would take would change the entire course of my life. The life I had imagined for myself just days before would no longer exist.

Now the hardest part would be telling Edward. I knew how he felt about our future and telling him of my decision was going to break his stone heart.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I threw myself on my bed, knowing that Edward would be arriving soon. Charlie had gone to bed long ago and I could hear his snores from down the hall. I had been thinking all night of a way to tell Edward of my decision and so far, had come up blank. I figured I would just wing it.

I had spent some time cleaning my room, scrubbing the bathroom and sorting out the towels and sheets. We had far too many. This seemed to calm me as I tried not to think about what was to come. I glanced at my phone and saw that it was almost midnight. Odd. He was usually here by now. I got up and looked out my window and into the night, thinking about all the times I had looked out and seen one of the pack out there, or the Cullens, keeping watch. I was caught in my own thoughts when Edward appeared below my window. He gestured for me to move back as he leapt up and into my bedroom.

I was glad to see him, but nervous at the same time.

"I thought you would have been asleep by now Bella" he said, his voice as smooth as ever.

It made me almost melt just hearing it. How could I say the things I needed to say when just his scent alone makes me want to surrender myself to him?

"I was actually waiting for you to arrive" I began. "There's something I need to tell you, and I'm not sure you will like it". His face morphed into a frown as he sat at my desk.

"What is it Bella?"

I wasn't sure where to begin. I thought the words would just come, but suddenly it was like I had lost my voice. I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands.

"Is it Jacob?" he asked.

"No… and yes" I answered. I looked at my feet as they twisted around each other. My visit with Jake is what brought me to this decision but I didn't want him to get the wrong idea, so in a way, this was about Jake.

"He is ok, isn't he?" He asked. His show of concern cheered me a little, as I nodded.

"Yeah, he's ok. He is in a lot of pain right now but he heals fast. Carlisle is an amazing doctor" I said, not sure of why I was prolonging this.

"So, what is it then?" He asked, his face holding a look of curiosity and sadness as he looked to me, searching my face for answers. Answers that I feared would mean the end of us.

"Edward, I… I can't marry you", I blurted out. I looked up from the floor and saw the pain in his eyes. "I'm not breaking up with you" I said before he had a chance to speak.

"I don't understand, I thought this is what you wanted?" he whispered.

"I want you, I want to be with you, but I realised something tonight" I said as I moved closer to him, holding his cold hands in mine. "I don't want to have a piece of paper determine our lives together. I don't have anything to prove to anyone Edward. I want you, but I want to live as much of a human life as possible before I get married" I said, trying to sound convincing.

It wasn't that what I was saying was untrue. It was completely true, I just wanted to keep my options open. If I could be in love with two people at once, who's to say that in 10 years' time my feelings won't change?

"If that's what you want…" He began.

"I'm sorry Edward" I said, as I fought back tears. "My feelings for you haven't changed, I just want some time. Time to spend with Charlie and Renee" … and Jake. "Before I have to go away forever" I added.

"I understand Bella, I will do whatever you want" he said.

He was too good to me. He was so desperate to marry me, but I was now denying him of everything he wanted. I felt horrible.

He stood up and walked to my bed where he sat to take his shoes off. I watched as he gracefully unties his laces, removed his shoes and stretched out on my bed. I placed the comforter over him and laid my head on his hard chest. It was such a contrast to Jacobs warm soft body.

I initially felt uneasy, but as I breathed in Edwards scent, I believed I had made the right choice. Al the doubts from earlier had disappeared as my breathing slowed and I drifted into a deep sleep.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I pulled my new red truck into the driveway of the apartment complex in Port Angeles. It was one of the many compromises on the list we had renegotiated over the last few weeks. I remember the interaction clearly…

 _Edward was tapping his fingers on the dash to the beat of the music that was playing on the stereo system in my truck. He had just reminded me that the deadline for accepting offers to the college of my choice was looming and I was trying to find a way to tell him I had already accepted one. And it wasn't the one he would have chosen for me. In fact, the college I chose was only an hour away from Forks._

 _"_ _Actually, I have already sent my replies to the colleges I had offers from" I confessed. "I sent the emails yesterday while you were out hunting with Jasper" I added. He turned to look at me as I pushed my trucks to its limit, towards Port Angeles._

 _"_ _That was sudden, two days ago, you were still unsure." He said. "So, which one was it? Dartmouth? Harvard? Yale? Alaska?" He rattled off a list of the colleges that he had bribed my way in to._

 _"_ _Actually, I decided that I'm going to college in Port Angeles" I said. "I had some time to think about things and I decided that if I want to stay close to Charlie, I need to go to college nearby" I began._

 _Close to Charlie? Or close to – ", he began. I knew exactly what he was going to say and I shut him down before he could finish._

 _"_ _yes, close to_ Charlie _" I stated matter of factly. "In fact, Jacob hadn't even crossed my mind when I decided on Port Angeles" I said, with more attitude than I intended. Edward sighed. Clearly a sign of frustration that he had learnt as one of his many humanistic traits, because he didn't actually need to breathe._

 _"_ _I want you to have the best of everything Bella, and that means the best college". Before I could interrupt he continued, "Port Angeles is probably a decent college but, Bella, please be reasonable"_

 _"_ _I am being reasonable Edward, this is what I want. I want to be close to Charlie. This is the best way" I argued. "And besides, now we can both keep the friendships we have built over the last year". He stopped arguing and seemed to be in deep thought for a while._

 _"_ _How are you going to get back and forth to Forks Bella? In this truck that is barely getting us there now?" He had a point. My truck, as much as I loved it, was struggling as we spoke._

 _"_ _Fine, I will let you buy me a car" I said, with a slight hint of defeat._

 _"_ _And an apartment" he continued. "Those are my conditions"._

 _"_ _Fine, but I get to choose the car"._

As I drove down into the underground secure parking lot, I thought about how much I loved my new truck. It was as similar to my old truck as I could get it, only brand new. It only had a few miles on it and had every modern feature that Edward could talk the dealer into putting in it. I parked in my extra wide space and climbed down from my truck. I pulled up the hard top that covered the tray of the truck, grabbed the first of the boxes and headed for the lift.

As I was waiting for the lift to arrive, a convertible pulled in to the parking lot and a blonde girl, about the same age as me, got out. She grabbed a bag out of the back of the car as the lift arrived and I stepped in and pressed the button for my floor. I held the doors for her and she thanked me with a smile. As she pressed the number 2 button for her apartment she noticed that I had pressed the top floor button.

"You're the new neighbour?" she asked, but it was more of a statement.

"Yeah, hey, I'm Bella" I replied, trying my hardest to be friendly. I struggled to shake off my face's tendency to look bitchy.

"I'm Mandy, I live on the 2nd floor" she replied.

"Do you go to college here?" I asked

"Yeah, you?"

"yeah, I'm a newbie" I said, glancing down at the box that was begging to get heavy.

"Maybe we can hang out some time?" she said, as the doors opened on level 2 with a ding.

"Sounds good" I replied as she strolled out of the lift with a friendly smile and a wave. It was a relief to meet at least one person in the building. Edward had insisted on buying the top floor apartment in the best apartment building in Port Angeles. We would be living here together and ordinarily I would have been happy to live in a one bedroom, run down college accommodation apartment, but Edward had certain tastes.

Edward had gone hunting for the weekend with strict instructions not to move any boxes, for fear that I would fall and hurt myself or break something. As usual, I declined his request and packed my truck full of boxes that morning. The semester was due to start in just over a week and I wanted to get settled before having to rush into things.

As the lift opened on my floor, I entered our massive apartment and sat the box on the floor in the living room. It really was too extravagant for my liking. It had open plan living areas with two bedrooms, two bathrooms and a study. I had to admit, it was kind of perfect. As I walked around, looking at the new furniture that had been delivered, I cringed at how much money must have been spent to get us set up.

I glanced into the bedroom and saw that the walk-in closet had been filled with clothes, all brand new with tags from the most expensive shops. "Alice" I muttered under my breath. I sifted through the dresses that were hanging up and, although they were beautiful, I had no idea when I would have an occasion to wear them.

I did several more trips back and forth from my truck, greeting friendly neighbours as they came in and out of the lift. The people who lived in the building were quite diverse. There was a young family with two small children who lived on the lower floor, but mostly the people I ran into were all college students.

Walking back into the apartment with my last box, I felt a vibration in my back pocket and realised my phone had been ringing. It was Edward, obviously calling to check on me.

"Hello?" I answered

"Bella, how has your day been?"

"Hey Edward, my day has been good… I…" I replied, hesitating as I was about to tell him what I had been up to.

"Where are you? I came home early but your truck isn't at Charlies" he questioned.

"Well, that's the thing, I'm at the apartment" I paused, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't say anything, I continued "I just thought I'd bring a few boxes over and get started on the unpacking".

"Sweetheart, you know I was going to take care of all of that". He said to me with a hint of frustration in his sweet honey sounding voice.

"yeah I know but I wanted to do something for myself for once. And guess what," I continued, "Nothings broken and I haven't fallen over once?" I said proudly. "I was even thinking we could stay here tonight, what do you think?" I asked. I was keen to get unpacked.

"Sure Bella, that sounds perfect" he replied. I could practically hear his smile through the phone.

"I'll call Charlie and let him know" I said, not trying to hide my excitement.

All the doubt and insecurity that I had in my relationship disappeared when I heard Edwards voice. I was so excited to be starting this new life with Edward without the pressure of getting married or a deadline to become a vampire. All of that was on hold until I was absolutely certain that I was ready.

"Ok sweetheart, I will see you in an hour or so" he said.

"I love you Edward" I replied.

"I love you too my beautiful Bella" he said before he hung up the phone.

I stared down at the phone in my hand. Edward had insisted on me having the newest smart phone, which did practically everything that a computer could do. I opened the Facebook app and scrolled through the news feed.

I saw that Jessica had checked in at her new college, Angela was predictably quiet and a few updates from people in Forks who were getting ready for college. I also saw updates from the Pack. Embry had posted some photos that had been taken at the beach at La Push. It was good to see them all relaxing and having a good time. Jake was noticeably absent from the posts. In fact, I hadn't heard from him since I left his house that night. I couldn't blame him, I hurt his feelings. I typed his name into the search bar and tapped on his face when it popped up. His Facebook feed hadn't changed in weeks. I hit the message symbol and typed a message,

To: Jacob – From Bella:  
Hey Jake, long time no see, hope all is well. Bella

As I hit send, I felt a sudden sadness at the thought that I hadn't heard from him at all. I missed him like crazy. He was my best friend!

I shoved my phone back into the back pocket of my jeans and started unpacking the boxes. It felt like I had been unpacking for hours when I heard the ding of the lift just outside the door that signalled to me that Edward had arrived. In fact, it had only been an hour, but the whole time I relived memories of my life in Forks with every new thing I unpacked.

I quickly pulled my phone out of my pocket to check for a reply from Jacob and was disheartened to see none, so I discarded my phone on the island bench, determined to put Jake out of my mind. When the front door swung open and Edward walked in, I was just as mesmerised as the first time I saw him. His eyes were a gloriously intense honey and his hair perfectly bronze, he looked like he just stepped out of a tv commercial. I had to remind myself to breath. After all this time, the sight of Edward still takes my breath away.

In what seemed like two strides, but was more like 7 or 8, Edward was in front of me, his cold arms wrapped around my waist. I looked into his eyes and almost passed out from how perfect he was. Would I ever get used to this? He leant down and kissed me with a kiss that let me know how much he loved me but left me wanting more. Always wanting more but knowing I couldn't have it.

We had discussed the idea of furthering our intimacy and Edward flat out refused to give in to my desires. He was just too concerned about my safety. As a normal teenager entering college, I was extremely frustrated, being driven by my hormones. There had been times over the last couple of weeks where I had almost asked him to turn me on the spot so I could feel what it was like to truly be with Edward. In the end, I was always reminded, oh so subtly by Edward why I had decided to wait.

When Edward released me, he looked around our apartment and a smile appeared on his perfectly chiselled face.

"You have unpacked all the boxes without me?" he said with a tone of surprise.

"You seem shocked?" I stated, a little offended.

"I am. I just assumed you'd wait"

"I just want this to be a home for us, as soon as possible" I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck, angling my face towards his.

If there had ever been any doubt before about how I felt about Edward, there was certainly none now. He was it for me. This is where we belonged.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Didn't expect to have reviews so quickly! Thanks guys! Here's the next chapter. I hope it's up to scratch. I'm almost done with the next one too so hopefully it will also be up at some point today. I realised my mistake of making Bella 17 in the beginning and changed it to 18. Sorry. Also, Bella seems quite unsure of her feelings and really choppy & changey (technical term haha) but its all going to reveal itself in good time. Will try and work it in earlier than i had planned just so it makes sense, but stay with me. All will be revealed!**

As the first week in Port Angeles ticked by, Edward and I had both been invited to several parties by some of the other students in the building. We seemed to fit in with the crowd, but Edward wasn't as excited as I was about making friends.

"It's dangerous Bella" he said as we entered our front door. I sat down the bag of groceries I was carrying and folded my arms in front of me.

"The closer I get to people, the more likely they are to find out what I am" he said, with a tone of sadness.

I got the feeling that deep down he was lonely. I knew that at this very moment, there was nothing I could see myself wanting more than Edward, but at the same time, the thought of having to distance myself from people in order to protect the secret was driving the idea of becoming a vampire further and further from my mind.

"I want to have every human experience I can while I am human, and college parties are included in those experiences" I said.

This wasn't our first disagreement since moving into the apartment, but so far it had been the worst. The initial disagreements were about things like where to put the couch, how much I should be eating and a schedule for Edward going out to hunt.

In the end, Edward agreed to let me go to the party while he went hunting with Jasper and Emmett. I would make up some story about him working nights or being away with family to appease our growing crowd of friends.

Friday afternoon arrived and I was standing against Edwards Volvo in the underground parking lot, feeling tempted to ask him to stay. I knew, however, that he needed to feed and so I kissed him on his stone cold lips and watched as he got into his car and drove out the secure complex.

As I got into the lift, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked my messages. I had one from Angela telling me that she had arrived at her college dorm and was ready to get settled in. I was disappointed that I hadn't received a reply from Jake all week. I didn't really dwell on it while Edward was home, but it felt like as soon as he wasn't around, Jake was front and centre of my thoughts.

I opened up Facebook and had a quick flick through. Still no sign of any activity from Jake. I quickly tapped out a text:

To: Jake – From: Bella  
Hey Jake, just me again. Text me back when you get a chance. Bella

I hit send as the lift doors opened with a 'ding' on the 2nd floor. When no one got in, I poked my head out to see Mandy's door open and music blaring from inside her apartment. I was heading up to my apartment, intending on coming down for the party later on, but curiosity got the better of me. I knocked on the open door, but there was no answer. I wasn't surprised as the music was so loud.

I walked around the small apartment and found Mandy dancing in her kitchen, mixing up a drink in the blender.

"Hey Bella, you ready to have a great night?" She asked as she licked some fruit juice off her finger.

"I thought it didn't start till later?" I asked

"yeah, well, it's never too early. We only start college once, right?!". She said. I giggled to myself. That might be true for most people, but for Edward, this would definitely not be a first.

"I'll just head upstairs and get ready, then I'll be down" I told her. I don't know why, but I was really excited for this party. As it turned out, Mandy knew a lot of people who lived in the area and the apartment building had a lot of college students living here. The party was going to be great.

"Ok, see ya soon Bells. And hey, bring that gorgeous boyfriend of yours, will you?" she said with a wink. I waved as I walked out into the foyer and pressed the 'up' button for the lift. I wasn't sure why I didn't tell her that Edward wasn't coming. I guessed I would make some excuse later.

An hour and a half and several checks on my phone later, I was back in the lift heading down to the 2nd floor apartment for the party. I had made the effort to put some designer jeans and a nice top on and even a touch of makeup. Not completely up to Alice's standard, but a good start. As the lift neared level 2, I could already hear the music and the voices coming from the party. When the doors opened, there were people in the foyer grouped in conversations and people in Mandy's apartment dancing, drinking and chatting away. As I pushed through the crowds looking for Mandy, I saw a few people who I recognized from the building. I stopped to chat to a few of them before moving on to the kitchen where I guessed Mandy would be. When I saw her, she squealed my name and almost bowled me over with a hug.

"Bella! So glad you came back. I was wondering when you were going to get here.". She had clearly had a drink or two already. "Here, have a cocktail! I promise its not laced with anything" she insisted. I hesitated, before taking the drink from her.

"Did you know that my dad is chief of police? And we're underage!" I said, in an attempt at a joke. I was always a bit socially awkward.

She just replied with "Oh…" and pulled me along with her to meet some people.

As the night went on, I found myself relaxing and enjoying meeting new people. There was such a diverse range of people in just the neighbourhood alone. I had a couple of drinks and quickly found myself feeling almost drunk. I hadn't actually indulged like this before, but the drinks Mandy was mixing were to die for.

With Edward out of sight and strangely out of my mind, I found myself checking my phone more and more in hopes that Jake would reply to my last text.

On my 3rd drink, I was standing in the line for the bathroom when I had the bright idea to text Jake again. I had been warned by Jessica about 'drunk texting' people, but never took much notice and certainly didn't consider it now. I had my mind set on getting Jake to reply, tonight.

To: Jake – From: Bella  
"Jacob! Why won't u ansr my messags? I realy miss you. Ur my best frind"

I hit send and stuffed my phone into my bag as I walked into the bathroom. I checked my face in the mirror after doing my business and was glad to see I was still me. I checked my phone and saw no reply which annoyed me. How hard was it to just send me a text and say "Im ok"?.

I walked out of the bathroom and back through to the living room where the party was really getting going. Mandy thrust another drink into my hand and pulled me over to the makeshift dance floor. Normally I would refuse and watch from a safe corner where I couldn't fall or bump into someone, but I had found a new confidence that I was guessing had come from the cocktails I was drinking.

After working up a sweat on the dance floor and polishing off my drink, I made my way to the kitchen for a glass of water. I knew that water was the key to ensuring you weren't sick from drinking too much and I knew Edward would kill me if he knew I had out myself in danger.

I leant against the kitchen bench, sipping my cup of water and puled out my phone once again. There was no reply from Jake. I began to wonder if he was ignoring me and a lump formed in my throat that had nothing to do with the cocktails. I tapped another message:

To: Jake – From: Bella  
Im sory thngs worked out the ay they did. Plaese 4giv me. I stil love you. Im at my very frst college party drinkn coktails frm plastic cups. Its gr8. Wish u were here. Love. your Bells

I hit send before I could question what I wrote. I knew it was wrong to be texting Jake when I was with Edward, but for some reason, when Edward wasn't around me, I began to question everything about him and about us. I gulped down the rest of the water, put my phone in my bag, stuffed some chips in my mouth and found Mandy in the middle of the dance floor.

I was having the time of my life and it seemed like no time had passed when I felt a warm hand on my arm. Too warm. There was only a few people I knew who were this warm. I turned and looked up into the face of the one person I had been wanting to see and desperate to hear from.

The face of my best friend, my soul mate, my personal sun.

Jacob Black was here.

 **AN: Underage drinking is bad! Don't do it! (Technically, if she were in Australia, it would be ok because she's 18, which is why its ok for me to write about it because I'm Aussie)**


	4. Chapter 4

**JACOBS P.O.V (YES its time).**

I sat around the fire surrounded by my pack and my family, who were one and the same, but I had never felt more alone. The last few weeks had been hell for me.

I relived the night that Bella came to see me over and over in my head, trying to think of something I could have or should have said to make her stay. Or at least choose me. Despite the morphine induced haze, I still remembered the whole conversation. I remember arguing with her. I remember pulling her to me and smelling her hair and feeling how amazing she felt as she nuzzled against me. I also remember how I told her that I gave up, and the bloodsucker had won. Maybe that was my mistake? I only said it so she would see that I want only what is best for her. Really, I wanted her to choose me. When she left, I knew that she wouldn't. I could feel it in my gut.

I had spent my time since then roaming around the forest in my human form because the pack couldn't stand my inner turmoil. I thought of Bella, constantly, wondering what she was doing and if she had decided to call off the engagement like she said. I would think of all the possible ways I could get her to change her mind and choose me. None of it ever worked out in my mind, because in every scenario, she was heartbroken over losing the bloodsucker all over again.

We didn't have reason to run strict patrols anymore but it didn't mean that Sam let us slack off completely. We were running patrols one at a time now so it meant that some of the guys were able to think about going back to school, or getting a job, and phasing was purely for leisure. I had applied for apprenticeships at a few mechanics in and around La Push and Forks, but it was mostly just to keep my mind off Bella. I had no intention of finishing school. I felt like I had grown too much, seen and done too much to go back.

As I stared into the crackling fire, I tried to rein in my thoughts. I had spent some time with Leah recently to help Sue around the house and she was helping me come up with ways to stop my thoughts from running away on wild tangents and creating strange universes where Bella chose me. Despite the initial animosity that had existed between Leah and me in the past, we had actually become almost like friends. Unfortunately, there wasn't much else to do these days except think. Every now and then I would get out my phone and browse Facebook, but it always brought me down when I would see Bella's name appear. Leah had convinced me to turn my phone off and lock it away, which had been helpful.

When I eventually turned it on earlier today, there had been a text from Bella, hoping that all was well. I didn't reply because it had been a week since she sent it and I wasn't sure how I could explain my lack of reply.

The council meeting went fairly quickly. Everyone knew the stories, it was more or less a celebration of the end of a chapter. The red head and her army had been defeated weeks ago and there hadn't been a trace of vampires since. The Cullens were planning on leaving soon to prevent any more Quileute boys from phasing, so we were more or less free to go back to a normal life.

At the end of the meeting, everyone got up to grab some food and I got my phone out. I had felt it vibrate in my pocket but wouldn't risk the ear bashing I would get from Billy if I took it out in the middle of a council meeting. When I opened the case, there were two texts on my phone. The first one made me smile, it was from Bella.

To: Jake – From: Bella  
Hey Jake, just me again. Text me back when you get a chance. Bella

She was thinking about me. Was she thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her? I pondered over what I would write in response as I scrolled down to the second message which was also from Bella.

To: Jake – From: Bella  
"Jacob! Why won't u ansr my messags? I realy miss you. Ur my best frind"

I stared at the message for a while, wondering what to make of it. It wasn't like her to misspell her words and the tone of the message wasn't like her either. I thought about the possibility of driving out to see her, but I knew that her bloodsucker boyfriend wouldn't appreciate it. I knew, through Billy, that they had bought a top floor apartment in the nicest building in Port Angeles, so I knew it wouldn't be hard to find her place if I needed to. As I started to type a reply to her text, another text came through.

To: Jake – From: Bella  
Im sory thngs worked out the ay they did. Plaese 4giv me. I stil love you. Im at my very frst college party drinkn coktails frm plastic cups. Its gr8. Wish u were here. Love. your Bells.

This time I knew something was wrong. She must be by herself, because there was no way the bloodsucker would let her get into this state.

Even without wolf telepathy, Quill and Embry must have known something was wrong, because when I looked up, they were standing in front of me with the keys to my Rabbit in their hands.

"I don't know what it is Jake, but whatever is going on, you're not going by yourself" Quill said with a stern face.

"Yeah, whatever it is, we're in" replied Embry.

"Thanks guys" I began. "It's Bella… Something's wrong. I need to find her".

We got in the car and sped off down the road leading away from La Push. I had never pushed the car this fast before, but I wasn't sure how much time I had.

"It's not like Bella to drink like this", I said out loud, mostly to myself. I saw Quill and Embry look at each other out of the corner of my eye. "Someone must be forcing her" I went on. "Something's definitely not right".

"Don't worry, I'm sure everything's ok" Quill reassured me.

"Yeah, Bella's pretty responsible Jake". Embry chimed in. I sure hoped so.

I pulled up the car out the front of the fanciest looking apartment block near the college. I wasn't certain this was her building but it seemed just like _him_ to When I looked up to the windows, I could see the tell tale signs of a party happening on the 2nd floor. I looked to Quill and Embry and they nodded. As we walked towards the doors, I noticed that someone had put a chair in front of the secure door, so we stepped inside and headed for the lift. It felt like it took forever for the lift to come. When the doors opened, the three of us all but ran in to the lift and I stabbed at the button for the 2nd floor. As the doors shut and the lift started to rise, I began to smell the scent of bloodsucker.

"Do you smell that?" Asked Embry. I nodded.

"We're in the right place" added Quill.

The doors opened with a ding and blaring music filled the lift. Walking out of the lift into the foyer, there were people everywhere. I hoped that we could find Bella among the crowd of drunken college students. We pushed our way through all kinds of people, fought off several girls whose attempts at flirting involved flinging themselves at us and refused drinks that were thrust upon us by randoms before I saw what I had come for. In the middle of a crowd of people dancing, was Bella. My Bella.

I signaled to Quill and Embry to go and do their own thing and approached Bella. The closer I got, the more I remembered how beautiful she was. This was going to be really difficult for me. To see her, talk to her, _save her,_ knowing that I had to leave and she would go back to _him_. I had a choice to make. I could leave her here alone and save myself the heartache, or stay and make sure she was safe.

My heart made the choice before my head had time to process. I reached for her and my hand locked around her arm. It almost felt like slow motion as she turned around and I saw her face. I was afraid of how she would react when she saw me, but the moment her eyes met mine, her face lit up and she threw her arms around my neck.

"Jacob!" She yelled over the music. "What are you doing here?"

"I was worried about you Bells… I got your texts". I said back. "How about we go out into the foyer?" I added.

"No, Jake, dance with me" she demanded.

I never knew Bella to want to dance. In fact, it was common knowledge that Bella was not the most coordinated person. She fell over her own feet at the best of times, so to see her dancing and being this free was a shock.

I wasn't much of a dancer, but I attempted to move in time to the music. I glanced over at Embry who had attracted the attention of several girls and gestured to him that I was going to take Bella outside. He nodded and I grabbed Bella by the hand and led her out towards the foyer.

Her hand was sweaty and as I glanced back towards her I noticed her face and the exposed parts of her skin were also wet from sweat. How long had she been dancing for? I wondered. When she noticed me looking, she smiled her nervous smile and I beamed back at her, feeling dumb. Yep, this was a huge mistake, but there was no turning back. She was too wasted to be left with people I guessed she barely knew.

As we moved past the crowds of people in the foyer, Bella pointed to the stairwell.

"Ok Jake, we can go sit in here where its quiet" she said. Her words were a bit slurred but she seemed to have a confidence in her body that didn't normally exist. If I wasn't so worried about her, I might have found this quite funny.

When we entered the stairs, the door shut behind us and she flung her arms around me again.

"Jake, I've missed you so much, you have no idea" she squeaked out. I didn't want to tell her how wrong she was. I had missed her so much that sometimes I thought the world would stop spinning.

"I missed you too Bells" was all I could get out in response. "What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm having the whole college experience" she said, animatedly. "Ed…..Edward has gone hunting with the guys and won't be back till Sunday" she went on.

"So you're here by yourself?" I asked, shocked that he would leave her along in a strange city. Knowing what almost happened to her when she was in Port Angeles a couple of years ago made me cringe. She nodded.

"Its ok Jake, I only live a couple of floors up. Riiiiight on the top" she exaggerated the 'p' sound, which made me laugh a little. "Do you want to go see?" she asked.

I knew it was a bad idea for me to go to their place. Especially considering the whole building stunk like vampire and their place would probably make me gag, but I knew that if I got her into her apartment, she would be safe.

"Ok, just let me go tell the guys" I said.

"Guys? Who else came?" she asked, as we walked back into the party.

"Just Quill and Embry. You know them, they wouldn't miss the chance to get in on a party" I said, trying to keep humour in my voice. Really, the reason they came was to make sure I didn't do anything stupid, and I was guessing I was about to!

I found the guys and told them I was taking Bella up to her apartment and that they could leave if they wanted. I figured I could phase and run home later.

"We'll stay for a bit, this party is crazy!" Quill said.

"Yeah, there's so many chicks here" Embry called over the music, as another girl attempted to drag him to the dance floor. I could tell that the guys were popular with the girls.

I waved to the guys as I left the party with Bella's hand in mine. It felt so natural, so normal, yet so wrong. But I couldn't help myself. Edward wasn't here and it was a sign that everything was not ok in their world.

We got into the lift and the noise immediately died down. She pressed the button for her floor and we stood in silence the whole way up.

The doors opened on the top floor and she fumbled in her pocket for her key. I helped her unlock the door and we walked into the oversized apartment. This was definitely his influence. It was immaculately styled and everything looked expensive. This was everything I knew I could never give Bella. It hit me like a ton of bricks. If I was to walk away for good, this would be why. My head was telling me to run away, leave, let her be showered with things I never dreamt of giving her, but my heart was telling me there was more to it and that I should try. Try just one more time to have _any_ form of contact with her.

She looked around the apartment and back at me as if waiting for approval.

"It stinks like vampire" was the first thing I could get out. "But it's a nice place" I quickly added when her face dropped.

"It's not really my style, but, you know Edward" she offered. That was my sign that there was still hope. I knew _my_ Bella was in there. She didn't want or need any of this luxury. She just wanted love, and that, I had plenty of.

She wandered into the kitchen and offered me a drink.

"I'll have a water if you do" I said, in hopes that she would start drinking some water to sober up a bit.

"sure" she said. I had won.

We sat on the massive couch in their living room and I just stared at her beauty. I needed this person in my life. I had to find a way to just be around her.

Once we started talking, we didn't stop. She told me about the move and how Charlie had approved of their apartment. She told me about the new Truck that Edward had bought for her and how different it was to the old truck that she loved. I knew this must have been the case, because her old truck had been sitting at Charlies for weeks now. I was a little offended, but glad she had a good reliable truck to get her to and from Forks (and me maybe) safely.

I told her all about the pack and mentioned that there were no vampires in Forks anymore so the need to phase wasn't as great. We hadn't had new members since the battle, which she was relieved about. She had always blamed herself for the vampires being around and causing more people to phase. She told me how the Cullens decided to leave for good, moving further away, which explained why Edward was going to be gone for days and no one had joined the pack in weeks, despite a few boys in the reservation being around the right age.

We talked and talked for a couple of hours before the conversation started drifting towards 'us'.

"Jake, I am truly sorry for how things turned out." She began. "You must know that I still love you".

I didn't want her to say that. It only made me hope that she might change her mind someday. Hopefully before it was too late and he turned her out of his own selfish desire to have an immortal 'mate'. I despised that word. It made it so animalistic and Bella was so human it wasn't funny. She was no one's mate.

"You're with Edward, Bells… I'm here as your friend because I was worried about you". I hoped I sounded convincing. In fact, I didn't know why I was there. My mind gave me endless possibilities and ran through so many scenarios that I had no idea what I wanted from this visit. In the end, I knew I had to just be her friend.

"We're not getting married, did Charlie tell Billy?" she said, almost at a whisper.

I nodded. Where was she going with this?

"And I'm not turning" she went on. "maybe ever".

I was shocked at this. I thought she wanted to be turned, eventually.

"I can't say I'm not pleased to hear you say that Bella" I said.

"I don't want to lose you Jake. Or Charlie, or my mum. You're all too important to me". She said.

I moved over closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. I held her and took in the smell of her hair and the feel of her arms around my torso. It sent shivers up my spine, in a good way.

"Do you want to know something Jake?" she said as I let her go and gazed down into her face.

"what's that?" I asked.

"When Edward isn't around, I don't even think about him, like, at all" She confessed. "And as soon as he leaves, you're all I think about… I don't even know if I love him like I used to... But when he _is_ around, I'm so captivated by him, I can't imagine _not_ being around him. I don't know what I'm doing Jake". She began to cry.

"Please don't cry Bells" I said as I wrapped my arms around her again.

She seemed so confused. She had no idea of how badly he was manipulating her. Should I tell her about the stories of the cold ones who lure their victims in so they can suck the life out of them? The more she sobbed into my chest, the more I thought about what she had said. She was being controlled by him. By his very essence. It was clear to me now, clearer than ever before. The only reason she was with him, was because of what he is.

After an eternity of my thoughts running wild, I heard her breathing slow and her heart rate drop. She had fallen asleep. I was relieved. I picked her up and carried her to her room. It was as extravagant as the rest of the house. I stupidly let myself wonder about their intimacy. I knew didn't sleep, so why the need for the big bed? I quickly pushed that thought out of my mind and laid her carefully on the sheets. As I tucked her in, she murmured my name and I kissed her gently on her forehead. I backed slowly out of the room and knew now more than ever that I must do whatever it takes to get her back. Even if it means laying dirty.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up to the sun streaming in and checked myself. I was feeling good but I couldn't remember how I got home. I got up and headed for the kitchen. My phone was on the bench and I grabbed it to see if I had received any calls. It was flat, so I plugged it into the charger point and went to sit on the couch. As I leant down to flick the TV on, I noticed two bottles of water on the table. That was strange.

I closed my eyes, trying to think of who might have been here last night. With my eyes closed, I smelt a familiar smell. It couldn't be. As I remembered the person who I associated with the smell of the sun and the earth, I remembered that Jake was here. He had come to the party and we sat talking.

A sudden burst of panic overcame me and I had to put my head between my knees. I was remembering the things I was saying to him last night and I immediately regretted it all. I know I had questioned my relationship with Edward, but I couldn't believe I has said that to Jake.

This was certainly going to add a complication to my life that I wasn't sure I wanted right now.

I pulled a blanket over me as I flicked the tv onto a movie that could take my mind off things. How could I have been so stupid. I thought I had gotten beyond the confusion. I chose Edward.

The more I thought about Edward, the more I _wanted_ to think about Jake. I forced myself to remember why I chose Edward in the first place and had half convinced myself that it was just drunk talk last night. I would have to call Jake and apologise for being so stupid.

I closed my eyes and let sleep take over.

When I woke, I was starving. I looked up at the clock and saw that it was just after lunch time. I wandered into the kitchen to make some toast and turned on my phone. Immediately, several messages flashed up on my screen, three were from Edward and two were from Jake. My heart started pumping a little faster when I saw Jakes name, wondering what he could possibly say to me after last night. I tapped on the first message

To: Bella – From Jake  
Hey Bella, I'm leaving your apartment and needed to tell you that I loved spending time with you tonight. You're funny when you're drunk. Jake x

To: Bella – From: Jake  
Let me know when you're up.

I scrolled up and was almost overcome with embarrassment at the texts I sent him last night. That explains why he came. He must have been worried about me. I quickly sent him a text back

To: Jake – From: Bella  
I am up. Thanks for coming last night. I'm feeling slightly embarrassed, but it was great to catch up. B.

I opened the texts from Edward. Two were just automatic texts saying I had missed some calls and one was typical Edward

To: Bella – From: Edward  
Good morning sweet heart, I hope you had fun last night. Tried to call but I'm guessing you're asleep. Call me when you can. Love Edward.

I went to put my phone down when it chimed with a text.

To: Bella - From: Jake  
Good to hear you're alive, I was getting worried. Don't be embarrassed, I've seen Leah drunk. Now that's embarrassing. Must catch up again soon. J xx

Before long, me and Jake found ourselves in a text frenzy. I replied, then he replied with something funny and I replied with a feeble attempt at humour. This went on for an hour or so, until Edward called.

"Hey Edward, how's hunting?" I asked

"It's been fun actually"

"great" was all I could think to say. I was too captivated by the sound of his voice, even over the phone. Like it was drawing me in, urging me to want to be near him.

"I'm actually on my way home, I've been driving since early this morning" he responded. I instantly forgot about the texting session I had been having with Jake when Edward asked me how my night was. I conveniently left out the part where Jake came into our apartment and put me to bed, although I'm sure he would smell his lingering scent when he got home anyway.

I hung up the phone half an hour later, knowing that Edward would be home in just over an hour. It was a long drive to where the Cullens now lived, but Edward was determined to do it as much as possible. I wasn't the only one who wanted to stay close to family.

I grabbed the cleaning supplied from the kitchen cupboard and began disinfecting all the surfaces I could remember Jake touching. I put some music on and sang as I worked. Before long, the apartment was sparkling clean and I hopped into the shower. I immediately threw my clothes in the washer in hopes that the scent of wolf was now completely gone from the house.

It was almost dinner time, so started putting together a simple lasagne. I was just putting it in the oven when Edward arrived home. I was over the moon to see him and flung my arms around his neck when he walked in through the door. I had somehow managed to forget how hard and cold he was and pulled back with a wince.

"Bella, are you alright?" he asked, shocked at my sudden burst of forgetfulness.

"Yeah, I just missed you, is all"

"Maybe I should go away more often" he answered. I responded by panting a careful kiss on his lips. He responded with equal care, but his smell, his breath, everything about him pushed me further and made me want more.

I intensified the kiss as I ran my fingers through his hair. A growl escaped from his chest as he lifted me by the waist and sat me on the bench. I wrapped my legs around him as much as was comfortable and pulled him closer to me. Closer than I had before.

Before it felt like any time had passed, he pulled away and stared at me, with his intense eyes.

"Do you know how difficult it is to resist you when you're doing this to me Bella?" he sighed.

"That's kind of my point" I said as I grabbed his shirt and attempted to pull him back towards me.

"I can't let myself get carried away, we've been through this" he said as he kissed my forehead. That was a sign that it was the end of the discussion. I had thought of many ways that we could be intimate without me getting hurt but whenever I brought it up, he shut me down immediately.

"Is it not too much to ask that you just consider your own safety?" he said sternly as disappointment came over my face.

"When will you listen to me? This can work Edward"

"No Bella! It can't. I won't risk it."

"You won't even hear me out?" I asked, almost begging. I had never felt so unwanted, physically, before in my life. He shook his head.

"I'm going for a walk… Take the lasagne out of the oven in half an hour" I spat, as I grabbed my phone and keys and stormed out of the apartment.

As I walked into the lift, I opened my phone to check my messages. There had been one from Jake.

To: Bella - From: Jake  
ok, let me know if you change your mind. I don't have plans the rest of the weekend.

I remembered I had been texting him about going to see Charlie tomorrow before I knew Edward was going to be home.

I made up my mind on the spot to go to Forks and stay with Charlie. Maybe secretly I was hoping to see Jake. I jabbed the B button and the lift descended down to the basement. It made a stop on level 2 and Mandy stepped in with a guy who had been all over her last night.

"Bella! I'm so glad to see you in one piece, where did you go? I saw that gorgeous guy come in and whisk you away, what's all that about?" she questioned.

"He's just a friend from home" I said quickly. Too quickly it seemed because Mandy raised an eyebrow at me in suspicion.

"Riiiiiiight, well, I saw the way you were all over him on the dancefloor Bells. Just be careful and cover your tracks, yeah?" she said with a wink.

"It's not like that, Edward knows I'm friends with him" I said in my defence. Surely she didn't think I was cheating on Edward with Jake?

"ok, well I'm here if you ever wanna chat" she said as the lift opened into the basement. She stepped out of the lift, followed by the random guy who smacked her on the backside as she went. She let out a high-pitched giggle and hopped into her car.

I walked over to my truck and hopped in. I was still fuming over the argument I had had with Edward. I thought about what Mandy said about me being all over Jake. I wondered if I should cover my tracks as she said. I opened my phone and quickly deleted all the messages to and from Jake. I started the truck and drove out of the underground secure parking lot and onto the road. I got onto the highway as fast as possible, not caring about my speed, which was strange for me.

Before long, I found myself completely bypassing Forks and heading for La Push. My shiny new red truck attracted the attention of all the residents as I came up the road that led to Jake's house. I initially wanted to see Charlie, but my mind was racing and the only person I felt I could talk to was Jake.

As I pulled in to Jake's driveway, I instantly felt at home. A sudden weight felt like it lifted off my shoulders and I felt free. I looked around before walking to the front of the house and knocking on the door.

The door opened and Jake was standing before me. He looked down at me from his tall height and his face lit up into an enormous grin. That was the Jake I remembered from last year. My Jake. I wrapped my arms around his torso and he rested his chin on the top of my head. Why didn't I remember how amazing this felt when I chose Edward?

"What's the matter Bells?" he asked

"Nothing, I just wanted to see you" I lied.

"I know you Bella, what happened?"

"Edward come home early… and we had a fight" I said as I pulled away. Jake turned to hide his anger and led the way inside. "Where's Billy?" I asked.

"He's over at Charlie's for the night. They're having a big one. There's some big game on" he answered.

"oh…" was all I could manage. I didn't think that Charlie might have other plans. "I was going to stay there the night, but I guess I will just drive home later" I said as I sat on the couch.

"I'll take care of it Bells, don't worry" Jake had an answer for everything. "So, tell me what happened? You're a mess".

"Gee, thanks…" I said, slightly offended. "You don't really want to know the specifics Jake, trust me" I answered as best I could. Surely Jake wasn't interested with the intricate details of mine and Edwards intimacy.

"If its bothering you, I'm here for you" he said as he handed me a drink.

"Edward and I… well, we can't, I mean… he won't… I want to, but he's never… and I've never… He won't risk it…" I was stammering. This was awkward.

"Ohhh" came Jakes response. "Well, that's one point I'll give him. He could kill you Bella".

"He won't even listen to reason" I argued. "I had ideas that might help, you know... to make it less dangerous" I went on. "I don't know Jake… I'm sorry to dump this on you, my sex life is probably the last thing you want to hear about… Let's talk about something else... um, what did you get up to today?"

He hesitated, clearly thinking about the conversation I had just awkwardly attempted to redirect.

"Let's see, I woke up, went for a run on the beach, did some jobs for Billy and sat around watching TV while texting some girl" he answered with a wink. That girl was me.

"Do you think we could just sit and watch TV or something?" I asked. I didn't want to get caught in conversations about Edward or my sex life, or lack thereof. I also didn't want a repeat of last night's verbal vomit.

"That sounds like a really good idea" Jake said. "I'll grab some popcorn".

I flicked through the channels on Jakes TV, trying to find a decent movie to watch. I just caught the opening credits of some action movie which I thought was perfect. No romance. Just what I needed.

I glanced over and caught a glimpse of Jake standing in the kitchen, staring off into some unknown world. I wondered what he was thinking. I caught myself admiring the smooth muscles that were clearly defined under his shirt. The way his body moved as he went about getting popcorn ready, made my heart race.

When the microwave beeped, he took out the bag and emptied it into a bowl. He then turned and flashed me the grin that he reserved only for me. The one that made me weak to his charms.

Oh no, I thought to myself… This night was not going to end well.


	6. Chapter 6

Jake wandered over to the couch with the bowl of popcorn in hand and sat down.

"Did you find anything good?" he asked.

I blinked a few times, not understanding what he was talking about.

"A movie?" he asked when my puzzled face gave away my stupidity.

"Oh, yeah some action movie. Looks good!" I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. Jake chuckled at my attempt to sound excited. He grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over both of us.

I felt completely at home here in Jake house. I moved over a bit closer to Jake so I was comfortable and he stretched his arm along the back of the couch behind me. It wasn't a sleazy move, in fact, I found it quite normal. I managed to convince myself that what we were doing was completely within the bounds of friendship.

We sat in easy, comfortable silence watching the movie. As time went on, Jake's hand rested above my shoulder and occasionally stroked my bare skin. Every time he touched me, it sent an electric pulse through my whole body and I was certain that he could tell he was affecting me so.

I had stopped concentrating on the movie a long time ago. My brain was all foggy and my thoughts were running wild. I thought about this boy, this man, who was sitting next to me and about how much I loved him. Like, really loved him. Everything I wanted, he could give me. _Everything._ I tilted my head to the side as Jake's fingers ran up and down my neck. No one had ever affected me like this.

Edward is always so cold and careful. Especially lately. He used to touch me in _that_ way, but since I started asking for more, he has pulled back almost completely.

I let myself get carried away in the moment, captivated by the new sensations I was feeling _everywhere_ , and turned to look up at Jake. He clearly wasn't paying attention to the movie either. He looked down into my eyes, and for a moment, we were lost in each other.

Time slowed as we closed the gap between our faces. Jake rested his forehead on mine as he whispered something in Quileute. If I could pull myself out of the clouds at any point in the future, I might ask him what it was that he said. It was so beautiful, it sent a tingle throughout my whole body and I closed my eyes to savour it. My breathing had become so heavy, I wasn't sure I would stay conscious if he did what I thought he was about to do. He pulled away and looked from my eyes to my mouth, as though asking a wordless question. I blinked once to say yes and our lips met, equally as eager, warm against warm. We allowed ourselves to get completely lost in each other. Jakes hands were in my hair as I turned my whole body to get a better angle. We gave in to whatever was taking us over, allowing ourselves to get lost in the moment.

This is the type of passion I was craving. The type of passion that Edward wouldn't and couldn't give me. I pulled away, feeling incredibly guilty as I thought of Edward.

"This is so wrong Jake" I said, breathless.

"I know" he answered as he brought his lips back to mine.

I was lost again. Our tongues entwined and our lips moved in perfect synchronisation. Our hands explored each other as though we were desperate to touch as much of one another as we could. Jake's entire body was on fire, he felt unbelievably warm and the more I touched him, the more I wanted to. It felt so natural, so perfect. Nothing else existed.

After the longest time, our tongues stopped and our lips slowed. Jake held my face in his hands and kissed me softly once more before pulling away. There was a massive element of lust and desire in what had just happened, but I felt so much love in that last kiss and I couldn't ignore it.

"I'm sorry" he said in a breathless whisper.

"Don't be"

"I shouldn't have done that"

"Me either" I agreed. It felt so good, but I knew how wrong it was. "I think I should go" I said after a moments silence.

I felt like I could stay and let Jake be my everything, but I had to try and figure things out with Edward.

"I need to go sort things out with Edward" I explained. "I can't... I… I need to go" I stammered. I got up as the movie was finishing and grabbed my things. My jacket and shoes were on the floor and my phone was on the table. I gathered them up with Jacob watching on in shock. A minute ago, we were entangled in each other, completely lost to the world and now I was running out on him.

"I'm really sorry Jake" I said with a too-long glance, as I ran out the door. Jake didn't follow as I got into my truck and took off up the road.

I felt a sudden sense of Deja vu, driving away with tears streaming down my face. I had just left Jake there without any idea of what was going on. I pulled over to the side of the road at the same place I had last time I drove away from Jakes house, and took out my phone. I made sure the truck was in park before I started writing a text to Jake.

To: Jake - From: Bella  
I'm sorry Jake, I don't know what I'm doing. I need to go home and sort myself out. Please understand. I love you.

I got back on the road and instead of heading for Charlies, I headed for Port Angeles. I needed to go back to Edward and figure all this out. It was late and it was going to take me an hour to get there, but I couldn't go to Charlies now, at this time of night without an explanation. I had none.

I found myself pulling into the driveway of our building, feeling a sense of dread. The trip had given me time to think about what I would tell Edward. I decided that I wouldn't tell him that I had gone to Jake. Now to see if I could pull it off. I parked in my usual spot and pulled out my phone as I cut the engine. There was a message from Jake.

To: Bella - From: Jake  
You scared me Bella. Please let me know when you get home safely. I'll be here if you need me. I love you too. More than you know.

I replied, telling him I was home and quickly deleted the messages as I sprayed perfume on myself in a pathetic attempt to drown out the wolf scent, and got out of my truck. I hurried over to the lift, desperate to get this over with, and hit the up button. The lift was there in an instant and I got in, quickly, because the basement gave me the creeps.

It was now 3 in the morning, and as the lift ascended, I found myself wondering what Edward was doing. In the foyer of the top floor, I quickly checked myself in the mirror and saw that I was a mess. I quickly flattened my wild hair and smoothed my clothes as much as possible. As I turned the key in the lock, the door opened and suddenly I was in Edwards arms.

It was overwhelming, the effect he had on me. I was instantly drawn to him and wanted more than anything to make things right.

"I'm so sorry Bella" he said, as he kissed the top of my head.

"I'm sorry too" I responded. Although, the thing I was apologising for wasn't necessarily the thing he thought I was apologising for.

"I had a lot of time to think while you were gone and I realised how insensitive and unfair I have been to you" he said with a genuine tone of remorse.

"No, I shouldn't push you into something you're clearly not ok with. I have been thinking a lot too and I know now that I shouldn't ask for things that are unrealistic" I said. "I'm happy to just take things slow and just focus on us" I said, trying to convince myself as much as him.

He released me from his grip and kissed me on the lips. The feeling was odd. I felt drawn to him like I usually do, but somehow, the feel of his cold skin made me shudder.

"You must be cold sweetheart", he said as he removed his hands from my skin. "Let me tuck you into bed. Its late" he said.

I did as he asked without thinking about why, and before long I drifted into a dreamless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: This is an edited chapter. From here on, the story has changed a bit from the original. Pretty much just extends the timeline a bit.**

The following two weeks flew by in a haze of classes and confusion. I got lost a few times on my way to classes and was shocked when Edward declared that he wasn't going to attend college with me. He had gotten sick of studying and wanted to try working for a bit. I was helping him to apply for jobs, not that he needed it, and he eventually got one as a counsellor. He was always good with his words and his ability to read minds helped him a lot.

I would text Jake a fair bit in between classes. There wasn't any mention of what happened on his couch at all. It was mostly friendly banter which was good. There was no awkwardness between us that I could sense, which was a relief. I still hadn't decided how I felt about the whole thing and I was keen to just store it in a compartment of my mind to think about it later.

The moments where Jake didn't text back straight away, I would start to feel sad and anxious until I saw his name flash up on my screen again. It was like an addiction. I was addicted to Jake.

I felt immense guilt over what had happened with Jake but at the same time, when Edward wasn't around, I felt oddly disconnected from him. In some ways, it felt like he didn't matter to me, like his _feelings_ didn't matter. I found myself ignoring his texts and silencing his calls, blaming it on college life.

My entire being wanted Edward more than anything while he was around. When he was near me, I couldn't stop obsessing about how much I just wanted to be with him... In _every_ way. Even though I told Edward I was happy to wait, I was only human and my hormones and instincts were driving my desires for that physical connection with another person

I thought everyday about breaking up with Edward and even planned it all out in my head on the odd occasion. No matter how desperately I wanted to leave Edward and be with Jake, when push came to shove, I was a coward, and Edward's pull was captivating. In my head, I knew that I loved Edward. My head was planning a life with him, thinking about the future and staying on the course I set upon when I first laid eyes on him. I reminded myself daily that I loved Edward, that I _chose_ Edward, but there was something else playing at me that I couldn't pinpoint.

When Edward wasn't around and the fog lifted from my brain, I would think about Jake and about how selfish I felt, keeping him close, but not too close. Close enough to fulfil my obsessive need to have his presence in my life, but not lose enough to give him false hopes of a life together.

I was so messed up, it was like I was perpetually confused. My heart belonged to Edward while he was around but to Jake when he was gone. And Edward was gone a lot. His new job had him travelling quite a bit and he would go off hunting on weekends. Those weekends, my confused heart would flutter at the idea of how easy it would be to be with Jake. Not having to worry about being safe or careful. Just free. _"Easy as breathing"_. I thought about Jakes words to me in his house the night he was injured. He was right, it would be as easy as breathing. I just had to take that first breath and I didn't know how.

By the time the second college weekend had rolled around, I decided that I would go and visit Charlie. I had planned to take him to the grocery store and stock up on healthy food that he could attempt to cook for himself. I guessed that he was getting a lot of take out and I was proven right when I looked in his garbage bin and saw the evidence.

After a long day of shopping and preparing some meals to freeze for Charlie, I decided to stay the night at Charlies. Edward was away again, so there wasn't anybody waiting for me back at the apartment.

After eating dinner and cleaning up, I sat down with Charlie to watch a movie. He seemed interested in it, but all I could think about was Jake. I sent Jake a text, asking what he was doing. He replied immediately telling me he was with the guys. I hesitated before letting him know I was at Charlies.

I wasn't sure why I told him I was there or what I thought would happen. Being in Forks, I felt so close to Jake, like I could reach out and touch him. When Jake didn't reply, I guessed he was busy and put my phone down and got up to empty the dishwasher. While I was up, I grabbed the bag of garbage that had accumulated and took it out to the bins.

I pulled on my jacket before heading out, and shut the door behind me. The bins were beside the house and as usual, the shadows from the trees were swaying in such a way that creeped me out. I quickly tossed the bag into the bin and turned to head back inside.

As I spun around, I lost my balance and felt myself fall. This wasn't unusual, and as I braced for impact with the hard ground, soft warm hands caught me.

I was pulled upright and set on my feet. I looked up and saw Jake standing in front of me, grinning.

"Bells, you can't be trusted" he said in a quiet voice

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "I thought you were having a night with the guys?"

"Yeah well I received some valuable information that a gorgeous girl was in the area and I had to come look for myself" he said with a wink.

I looked around the empty yard as though looking for this invisible person and Jake laughed.

"Shhhh" I said. "Charlie will have a fit if he sees you here". Jake looked up at the sky, as though concentrating on something he couldn't see.

"Nope, Charlie's asleep" he said.

"Riiiight, you can hear him breathing" I said as I strolled around the back to the outdoor table and chairs. "You wanna sit?" I asked.

"Only if you sit with me. Not much point sitting here by myself" he said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes. Always the jokester, I thought as I sat down.

We sat talking for a while before there was a silence that neither of us could fill. I began thinking about how easy it was talking to Jake, but also worried my life with Edward. I loved Edward. I knew I loved Edward. I had been with him for the last few years and I was planning my future with him. But I couldn't shake the feeling I got when I was with Jake.

"Bella…" he began.

"Please Jake, don't" I begged.

"No, I'm sorry I need to say this… Bella I love you. I want you in my life and I don't care what that looks like, but I'm not giving up on you" he said, looking into my eyes. I felt as though he was looking deep into my soul, seeing into all of my hopes and fears.

"I'm just so confused Jake" I said, honestly.

"I know" he said as he reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "That's why I am willing to wait. Or to just be here for you, no matter what that means".

"What if I never figure it out?" I asked.

"Then I will be your amazing best friend, forever" he said. The thought of that made me sad. Jake, sticking by me forever in hopes that one day I will figure myself out.

"I don't want you to ever go away Jake, but I can't hold you back from living a life you deserve" I said.

"I'll be ok Bella. As long as I get to see you, talk to you and text you, I have everything" he said.

I leaned over the chairs and hugged him tight. We stayed like that for a while before Jake let go slightly. I released my grip when I realised it was me who was holding onto him and he leaned back with a smile. _That_ smile. _Oh no,_ I thought to myself as I leant in and kissed him. As much as I thought about how wrong it was, it felt so right. This time it was Jake who eventually pulled away and got up to leave.

"I'll text you" he said as he kissed the top of my head. I nodded and watched as he walked away and into the night.

The next morning, I woke early and decided I needed to head back home to get some assignments done. I said goodbye to Charlie and hopped in my truck. Before starting the engine, I looked over the texts Jake had sent me after he left the night before. He told me how badly he wanted to stay but he knew that if he did he wouldn't have wanted to leave. It made sense because I knew that if he stayed, things might have gotten even more complicated than they already were.

I hit the delete button, covering my tracks, just as Mandy had said. I was certain that it was essential now. I couldn't let Edward see the text conversations that Jake and I had been having. I was now in the midst of an affair. I started the engine and headed towards the home I had with Edward, my head full of confusion.

The closer I got to Port Angeles, the more I thought about Edward and how I did in fact love him. I thought about all of his amazing qualities and how I knew he would do anything to make me happy. Well, almost anything.

When I walked in to our apartment, Edward was there. He had come home early and cooked me an amazing lunch. This was just another thing he could do perfectly.

We had a really lovely day together. All thoughts of Jacob, as usual had left my mind, because I was completely absorbed in Edward. After lunch, we went for a walk around the dock and looked through the shops on the main street. We stopped for dinner at a nice restaurant and afterwards we went home and sat on the couch to watch a movie together. I was laying against a thick blanket that had been placed against Edward's chest, the only way we were able to snuggle comfortably. I must have fallen asleep half way through the movie because I woke up as Edward was carefully placing me into bed. I smiled as he kissed me goodnight and rolled over and drifted off into a dream filled sleep.

Every night I dreamt about Jake, and tonight was no exception. The dreams often felt so real, I usually woke up not knowing where I was and sweating profusely. I would dream about Jacob's body and about the way his hands felt when they brushed against my skin. Every night was the same, but slightly different and I was devastated to wake up every morning and put an end to the life I was living, while I was asleep.

Edward was always there, which worried me. I hoped that I hadn't talked in my sleep because it was bound to give me away. If I did, Edward never mentioned anything, he just read his book and stroked my hair.

The following two weeks went quicker than the first two. I had assignments stacking up and the professors were getting tougher on students. As Friday approached, Edward reminded me that he was heading out to hunt with Jasper and suggested that I invite some friends over for some drinks. I thought it was a great idea. I invited Mandy and her new boyfriend, who was different to the guy from her party. She was a tough one to keep track of, with a different guy every month. She took care of the rest of the guest list. I was hesitant to let her because I was absolutely certain it would get wild like hers.

As Fridays classes wound down, I received a text from Edward saying he was leaving and he was sorry that he missed saying goodbye to me. I was a little disappointed but was too excited about the party to be overly worried. I had sent Jake a text earlier in the day letting him know I was having a few drinks with friends and not to worry about me like he did last time. I knew he would though. That was my Jacob.

I walked home from college and stopped by the store to get some supplies. Edward had gone ahead and set up most of the things that had to be done while he was playing housewife for the day so all I had to do was grab a couple of things and go home and get ready.

At 7pm, the first of the guests started to arrive. I felt a bit awkward because most of them I had only seen in passing or had debated English literature with in my classes. It did feel good though to be around other people who not only acted my age, but _were_ my age. Edward was so serious and very formal a lot of the time and I occasionally caught myself realising that he is actually over one hundred years old, despite looking like an 18-year-old god.

The atmosphere at the party was amazing. More people had turned up and everyone was having fun. People were dancing, drinking and flirting with each other. Mandy was dirty dancing with her boyfriend and practically molesting him on my makeshift dance floor. I didn't drink as fast as I did at Mandy's party, but I soon found myself feeling tipsy and giggly. I was deep in discussion with a girl from one of my classes about philosophy and literature while sipping fancy drinks that Mandy had once again mixed up with her amazing mixology skills. The girls name was Carly, and we got on like a house on fire.

This is where I belonged. I finally found where I fit in to the world. It wasn't in a world of danger and chaos, it was a world of great friends, great conversation and teenage normalcy. As our conversation came to an end, I was feeling great and dragged Carly with me on to the dancefloor. We danced for three songs before needing refills of our drinks. I thought I would do the sensible thing and drink some water. I didn't want to get wasted and make a fool of myself in my own apartment.

As we headed back to the dancefloor, bottles of water in hand, a song that I had been keen on began playing. Carly and I danced as though no one was watching, feeling free and at ease. When the song finished, I slowed down and took a big drink of water. I was feeling hot and sweaty and took the opportunity to see who was still there. Almost no one had left, which was a sign that the party was successful. As I looked around the room, I glanced towards the door and saw someone I hadn't counted on seeing. Jake was leaning against the wall with his hands in his jeans pockets, watching me. I had no idea how long he had been there for, but when he smiled at me, I went weak at the knees.

I ditched Carly on the dancefloor and strutted over to Jake. As I approached, he put his hands on my shoulders, stopping me from throwing myself at him. I was thankful for this, because my intentions were to launch myself at him, fuelled by my alcohol induced confidence.

I pulled him onto the dancefloor by his shirt and danced with him in much the same way I had at Mandy's place, weeks before.

"Are you having fun?" Jake asked, yelling above the music. I nodded as I took another swig from my water bottle and placed it down on the floor next to the speaker. I was dancing so close to him, carelessly running my hands all over his amazing, perfectly toned body. He was so tempting.

Jake pulled away, taking me by the hand and leading me out to the balcony.

"What's up Jake?" I asked.

"Bella, you're driving me crazy" he said, leaning on the railing, looking down onto the street. "I don't know if I can stop myself" he said.

"So, don't", I said as I moved closer. Jake turned and looked into my eyes as I put my palms on his chest, ran them up to his shoulders and down his arms. He felt incredible. I snaked them around his neck and pressed my lips to his. The way he responded was urgent and made me want more.

I felt a tingling in places where I had only felt in my dreams and I knew immediately what I wanted. I had to find out if the dreams were as amazing as the reality.

I pulled away, looked into his intense brown eyes and took him by the hand, leading him back inside the apartment and down the hall, towards my guest bedroom.

I shoved Jake into the room with a strange sense of self confidence and slammed the door shut behind us. I left the light off and pushed him against the back of the door letting my passion take over.

I pulled off my jacket and threw it on the floor but kept my focus on kissing Jake. There was something desperate in the way he was running his hands all over my body and I couldn't get enough of it. It was like the night at his house on the couch, but with more desperation, more desire – if that was possible. Without thinking, I let my desires lead and I pulled his shirt off over his head as he stepped forward, guiding me backwards to the bed.

He lifted me up and carefully placed me down on the bed where he positioned himself over me, resting on his elbow. He looked into my eyes and smiled the smile that was just for me and once again his lips found mine.

I yanked off my top, almost tearing it in half and hurried to reach down and undo the button on Jakes pants. I knew what I wanted and my alcohol consumption had nothing to do with it. I needed Jake _that way_. He looked into my eyes and asked "are you sure?". My nod was enough for him and from that moment on we were overtaken by passion and lost to each other, never to be recovered by another soul.

Afterwards, Jake held me close to him and stroked my hair. I had never felt more loved or more taken care of. As far as firsts go, I would have to say that this was pretty damn good. Way beyond the wildest of my dreams. My head was clear and I was as sober as ever. I had no regrets.

"It's going to be really difficult, leaving you now, after this" he said quietly, his sadness dampening the mood.

"Stay" I pleaded, leaning up on my elbow to look at him. "Stay with me until Sunday" I almost begged. I wasn't letting him go.

"That won't be a problem, will it?" he asked. "You won't get in trouble if he comes back and finds me here?" I shook my head and snuggled into Jakes arms again.

"This feels nice, just laying here" I said after a while.

"It's like heaven Bella. I feel like I'm dreaming… or I'm dead" he said with a smile. I gulped. I couldn't fathom the idea of Jake being dead.

"Do you often dream of these kinds of situations?" I asked with a cheeky grin.

"Bella, I'm only human, well, part human, of course I've dreamt about this" he said as he brushed my hair off my face. I blushed, remembering the most recent dream I had about Jake.

As we laid there in our temporary bliss, I realised that my life was suddenly about to get really complicated.

I got up and gathered my clothes. There was no shyness about my body with Jake. He had just worshipped almost every inch of it, there was no covering up now. I found Jakes shirt near the door and threw it to him.

"Come on, let's get back to the party" I said.

We both got dressed and made ourselves look respectable, but before opening the door Jake took me in his arms, kissed me lightly on the lips and told me he loved me.

I kissed him back, opened the door and headed back to the party hand in hand with my Jacob.

I woke up the next morning in the guest bedroom, feeling warm. Too warm. I kicked the blankets off and realised Jake was sleeping next to me. After our encounter last night, we had both drank a fair bit of alcohol and danced a lot. I remembered at one point I managed to convince Mandy that Jake and I were just really good friends.

I laid there for a long time just watching Jake sleep. The steady rise and fall of his chest and his gentle snores were captivating. How did I deny myself this perfect person? Jacob professed his love to me a long time ago but I was blinded by my love for Edward. At the time, I was absolutely certain that Edward was the one I wanted, but the longer I stared at Jakes face, the more I wasn't entirely sure.

Without the magic of vampires, Jake is the natural path my life would have taken. I would have let him woo me and eventually fallen for his charms. We would have stumbled through our first kiss and caught intimate moments while our dads weren't looking.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Jakes breathing change and his eyes flicker open.

"Good morning beautiful" he whispered.

"Hi there yourself" I said with a blush as I realised I was busted staring.

"See something you like?" he asked with _that_ smile.

"I see something I love" I responded.

He wound his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. Our lips found each other as my hands stroked his jaw line. This only made him pull me in closer. I was breathless, as he moved his body to hover over the top of mine. I allowed myself to get carried away as his mouth found my neck, then travelled back to my lips and back down past my neck and collarbone, tasting the skin that had never felt these sensations before last night.

Jake was an expert. He explored my body like he had a map to all the parts that could send shivers down my spine and make me squirm. He made me feel things that I never thought were possible.

I began to question whether Jake had had practice in these activities before. This was not the skill of a novice. The thought brought me out of the moment and I unconsciously pulled away from his touch.

"Is this too much?" he asked, gazing into my eyes, a worried frown forming on his face.

"No, it's amazing… You're amazing" I answered.

He kissed me softly on the lips and moved so that he was laying on his side, next to me.

"What happened there? Where did you go just now?" he asked.

I hesitated. How could I ask him if he had been getting it on with other girls? Of course, I had no right to be angry about it if he had, but I couldn't imagine Jakes hands and his mouth and his _body_ on someone else the way it had been on me, moments before.

"You sure do know what you're doing, Jake" I said, trying to create an air of humour so this conversation didn't turn awkward.

"I'm just making it up as I go Bella" he began.

I blinked.

"So, you haven't done this with loads of other girls?" I asked, trying desperately, but failing, to hide the blush that crept onto my face.

"I haven't thought of a single other girl since you came back to Forks, Bella" he said truthfully. "There is only you. It's only ever been you". He continued as I smiled.

"But you seem so confident" the words were coming easily. This conversation wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be.

"I was scared as hell last night" he answered. "I have no idea about any of this Bella, I'm just winging it" he confessed.

I was blown away by his honesty. I brought his face back to mine and kissed him, taking us back to where we left off before my mind got carried away with my own thoughts.

 **JAKES POV**

We spent the morning wrapped in each other's arms and bodies, our limbs tangled in such a way that I couldn't tell where I ended and she began. We were totally absorbed in the here and now, living just for the moment and only for each other.

We were both inexperienced and running purely off instinct. I hadn't so much as considered even kissing another person apart from Bella. I had been so nervous when I realised that she wanted me in _that_ way last night. Of course, I wanted her too, I mean, it was only natural of me, but I was petrified all the same.

I thought I would make it a horrible experience for her, so I did my best to take it slow but used all the tips I had learnt from the guys in the pack, plus the memories I had accidently been subject to over the months through wolf telepathy. Especially from Sam. He and Emily had a pretty heathy sex life, so it was inevitable that he would occasionally relive some of those moments. Without realising it, I had picked up on some pointers and used them to my full advantage with Bella.

As the day wore on, we both dragged ourselves away from the bedroom to be confronted with a disaster to clean up. I didn't mind, I was happy to spend whatever time I could with Bella.

We got stuck into it and before long her massive apartment was sparkling clean again.

I watched as Bella towel dried her hair after having a shower. My stomach growled and I realised we both hadn't eaten all day.

"Do you want to go out and get something to eat, babe?" I asked, not thinking twice about the affectionate way that I said 'babe'.

"Yeah absolutely, I'm starving… _babe_ " she said, with emphasis on the 'babe'. We both laughed. I loved to see her laugh. She seemed so free and natural. It was definitely ego boosting that it was _me_ who was causing it, but I didn't let on.

Before long, we were in the lift, hand in hand, headed out to find a nice place to eat. We walked for a while down the busy street before finding a nice-looking place that seemed just a little romantic. It was perfect for a 'date'. Although, the concept of a 'date' was quite foreign and outdated for me. I saw this purely as two people who loved each other, having dinner together.

We ordered quickly after sitting down in a secluded corner. She rested her foot against mine under the table and slowly stroked her foot up my leg.

"You're very distracting, you know that?" I said.

"Oh, am I?" she said in a girly voice, grinning as she ran her foot up my leg again.

"If I wasn't so damn hungry, I would leave right now and give you a repeat of this morning" I threatened. She didn't say anything, just looked down, grinning to herself. This was heaven.

As our meals came, we ate and talked about anything and everything, except the elephant in the room.

We both knew that before long, I would have to go back to La Push and Edward was going to come back. I didn't want to spoil the fantastic mood, but I had to ask.

"What do you want, Bella?"

"Dessert" she said, looking up at me, her eyes almost pleading me not to go down this road.

"You know what I mean. Soon we will leave this restaurant and then what?" I asked

"You come back with me" she said.

"You know what would happen if he came home and found me there?" I asked, the seriousness of my tone killing any good vibes we had previously.

"Yes, I would tell him you are staying over, as a friend and he would believe me" she said confidently.

"I don't think it would work like that Bella" I said.

"Why not? We used to hang out all the time and it was all innocent" she said.

"Things are different now Bella. I can't stay, it's too risky" I said. I wanted more than anything to spend every minute I could with her but I knew that if he returned early, everything would be over.

I had to put a stop to this. The more I thought about it the more I realised how absurd this whole day had been.

"We can't keep playing pretend Bella, you're with _him_ " I said. I hoped beyond hope that she would decide to leave with me today and end it with him forever but a small part of me knew it wouldn't happen.

"You're right" she said. I almost choked as she said the words I knew were coming.

I got up and paid at the front counter before leading Bella to the door and out onto the street. We walked back to her apartment in silence and in through the lobby door. As the lift arrived and Bella walked in, I stayed in the lobby.

"You're not staying… are you?" she asked.

"You know I can't Bells" I said. I wanted to, more than anything, but it wasn't right. "I'll text you through the week" I said as the lift doors closed and tears fell from her eyes.


	8. Chapter 8

**STILL JACOBS POV**

I drove home, with mixed emotions. I had been determined not to give up, to hold on to her till she realised she wanted me. The whole way home, I mentally composed several text messages, letting her know how I felt. The problem was, I wasn't sure anymore. I knew I loved her more than anything. I would do anything for her, anything at all. I would die for Bella, but I wasn't sure she felt the same. In fact, I knew she didn't feel the same.

As I arrived in front of my house, I had come to the decision that I would just let it all go. The last 24 hours had been the best I had ever experienced, yet, I was feeling worse than I had ever felt before.

As I got out of the rabbit, I took my phone out of my pocket and typed a text.

To: Bella – From Jake  
I have made it home safe. Sorry I ran out on you like that, I just need some time to work out what this all means. Love Jake

Before I even made it to the door, her reply came.

To Jake – From Bella  
Thank you for letting me know. I'm sorry I can't give you what you want. There's so much to work out in my head. I promise when it all becomes clear to me you will be the first one I tell. 

I didn't reply. Instead I headed straight to my room, collapsed on my bed and fell asleep.

…

As the weeks wore on, Bella and I fell back into a comfortable text based relationship. Admittedly, there had been some flirting and innuendo, but overall, we embraced this strange new close friendship.

Edward had found out that I was at the party and according to Bella, he was ok with it. In fact, he had encouraged Bella to embrace her friendship with me.

Late one Monday afternoon, I was working with Sam in his garage on a car that he had bought for Emily, when I heard my phone chime. I was surprised to see Bella's name appear on my phone, as she had been home with Edward all day.

To Jake – From Bella  
I need to see you. Can we meet at your house in an hour? 

I was curious to know what it was that she wanted so I quickly said 'yes', packed up my tools and made my way home.

As I drove in my driveway just under an hour later, her truck was already there. She was waiting for me at the door to my garage and gestured for me to follow her in when I got out of my truck.

I wondered what was going on as I walked in behind her.

"Can you lock the door?" she asked. I was intrigued.

I turned and locked the door and when I turned back to talk to her she was standing inches behind me.

"I can't stop thinking about you Jake, its making me crazy. As soon as I leave the apartment, or when Edward is gone, you're all I think about" she said, as she eyed me, hungrily.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either Bells, about that weekend" I said.

Bella grabbed the bottom of my shirt and yanked it up over my head before kissing me intensely on the lips.

Every ounce of self-respect I had was telling me to stop, urging me to remember that she belonged to someone else. But my body was reacting to her actions and before long, Bella had pulled me over to the couch. She took full control and before long, we were overcome by each other's passion.

As I laid on the couch in our post-passion bliss watching her get dressed, I was captivated by her beauty. I wanted to take the moral high road and tell her how wrong I thought this was, but something within me made me bite my tongue. She leant down and kissed me on the lips, said 'thanks' and headed for the door.

"I'll text you" she said as she disappeared.

…

BELLAS POV

The weeks that followed my visit to Jake's garage were filled with flirtatious texting and sly meetings wherever and whenever we could. I couldn't pinpoint what prompted me to go to him that day. I had been having a great day with Edward, he took me shopping, buying me everything he wanted me to have, and then to lunch at an amazing restaurant that he picked. He did everything by the book, but still refused to touch me. The more Edward did romance, the more I hated that he never touched me anymore. And the more I thought about how Edward never touched me, the more I thought about how I felt when Jake _did._

I craved Jakes touch and had made a decision to give into those desires. At the same time though, I also desperately loved Edward. I was feeling so torn and confused and the more I tried to think about what I wanted, the harder it was to decide.

I had always thought that someone who was a cheater was a horrible person and should just make up their mind about what they wanted. I never thought there could be another side to cheating that was so extremely chaotic, confusing and agonisingly heartbreaking.

I loved them both. I desperately needed them both in my life. Edward fulfilled a role in my life that was sensible, loving and comfortable. I needed him in so many ways and when I was around him, I was completely determined to end things with Jake. But when I was texting Jake, or meeting up with him, it was as though I was someone different. I was free and passionate and unbelievably satisfied in every way. Jake made me feel like my age and when I was with him, I felt at ease with the world.

…

It had been six months since the party in my apartment. In that time, I had made up my mind and changed it hundreds of times. There were times where I had completely convinced myself to leave Edward and be with Jake and there were other times where I was absolutely certain that I was staying with Edward. Jake had also ended and resumed our fling more than once. We had fought and made up, spent weekends together while Edward was hunting, talking all night about anything and everything.

Jake felt incredibly guilty for being the 'other guy' and said so quite often. He also said that deep down, he wanted me any way that he could have me and if that meant on the sly, so be it. He hadn't phased since we began our secret affair so no one else would find out. We were careful to cover our tracks every time and before long, we were experts at leading our double lives.

I was half way through a class when I received a text from Edward saying he had to go away for work for a few days. I had a few assignments that were due and even though I desperately didn't want him to leave, I was looking forward to having some time to myself.

I finished my classes early on Friday so I could be home to say goodbye to Edward when he left. As I opened the door to our apartment, I was greeted by a beautiful bunch of flowers. Edward was waiting for me in the living room and came over to me as I put my bag down on the floor.

"Edward, they're beautiful" I said as I inspected the flowers.

"I just feel so bad that I'm going to be leaving you for so long" he said.

"I'll be fine" I admitted. "I'm looking forward to having some time to myself" I said.

"You've been at college so much these last few months, you definitely deserve a relaxing weekend off" he said.

I admired him, in the way that I usually would, but in that moment, I really wanted to try something.

"Hold still" I said, as I moved closer to him. "I want to try something".

Edward froze and closed his eyes as I placed my hands underneath the bottom of his shirt. I ran them up his cold hard body, feeling every ridge and dimple. The intent wasn't missed by Edward and he began to pull back.

"Bella…" he began. I sighed

"Can we just... try?" I asked. "You once said we'd try" I said.

"I just… I can't risk your safety Bella. I'm sorry. We've been through this" he said.

"I sort of get the feeling you'll never want me, in that way" I admitted.

"I do, of course I do, but I don't want to hurt you" he said. I hesitated, running through a list of things I could say to him in my head, but stopped myself short. There was no way he was going to give up on this. I felt a strange sense of Déjà vu and decided against running out, like I had done before.

"So, you're saying that while I'm human, there isn't a chance of us taking our relationship beyond underwear?" I asked.

"I'm sorry Bella, it's a no" he said. I let my hands drop and bent down to pick up the bag he had gotten ready for himself.

"Here, you're going to be late" I said.

He kissed me on the forehead, whispered "I'm sorry" and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

As soon as he left, I rummaged through my book bag and retrieved my phone. I quickly tapped a text to Jake.

To: Jake – From: Bella  
Edward has gone for a few days. Come and stay the weekend?

I hit send and put on some music as I waited for a reply. I sat down and opened my laptop to start working on one of my assignments but all I could think about was how disappointed I was that Edward wouldn't even try, no, wouldn't even consider the idea of trying to be physically intimate with me. I loved him so much and since being with Jake, I realised how important it was to have that physical connection in a relationship. I so desperately craved it. That's exactly why I turned to Jake so much. He gave me what was lacking in my relationship.

I secretly held strange desires to have a bizarre life where I could keep both Jake and Edward but I knew that I couldn't lie to Edward for much longer and there was no way Jake would keep this up.

Once again, the more I thought about it, the harder it was to figure out who I should be with. I pushed all that aside and checked my phone. There was no reply from Jake. It seems odd to me but I tried to forget about it and focus on the assignment that was due after the weekend.

I was halfway through a 3000-word paper when my phone buzzed.

To Bella – From Jake  
Sorry Bells, can't tonight

I was stunned. Jake had never refused an invitation that offered so much opportunity. I texted him back.

To Jake – From Bella  
Ok. Maybe tomorrow? 

I stared at my phone waiting for his reply.

To Bella – From Jake  
I don't know Bella

He was angry at me. I decided I needed to call him before I started to panic.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake" I said

"Is everything ok?" he asked.

"I don't know, is it?" I asked back.

"Look Bella, I didn't want to do it like this, but I can't keep this up. I thought I could, I thought I could forget the fact that you go home to him every day and not me, but it's so hard" he said.

My heart felt as though it was going to shatter into a million pieces. This was it, he was breaking up with me.

"Jake…." I didn't know what to say, how to make this right. I had to see him, face to face, make this right. "Can you please just not make any decisions right now? Come over and we will do something. Something real, not just sex" I said, hoping that he would see that I wanted more from him than his body.

"I can't, not tonight" he said.

"Tomorrow then?" I asked.

There was silence. I thought the line had gone dead.

"Jake?"

"I'm here"

"Please, come over tomorrow. I promise I will have a decision. I will do it this weekend. I promise" I said.

"You've said it before" he said. I sensed sadness in his voice.

"I'm serious this time Jake" I said. "I can't keep making you feel this way, it's not fair".

"Ok. I will come over tomorrow". He said.

"Meet me out the front of my building at lunch time?" I asked.

"Ok" he said with a sigh. It terrified me. I felt as though I had lost him already.

"Jake..." I began.

"I know Bella" he said. I didn't need to tell him I loved him.

"I'll see you tomorrow" I said. The phone was silent and I knew Jake had hung up.

I closed my laptop and looked at the time. It wasn't late, but I was exhausted from a busy week. I went to bed and before long, I had fallen into a deep sleep.

..

I woke late the following morning determined that I would make things right. I still had no idea what I wanted but I had a few hours to figure it out, once and for all.

I got ready and packed a picnic before heading down with the heavy basket to meet Jake. I hadn't heard from him at all since speaking to him on the phone so I assumed he was still going to meet with me.

When I walked out the doors and onto the street, I saw Jake standing there in his cut offs and plain shirt. He looked so sexy without even trying. I smiled a smile that probably gave away my thoughts as I got closer to him. I stopped short of hugging him, instead giving him an awkward wave.

"Hey Jake" I said.

"Hey Bells" he said as he reached for me and pulling me into a hug. I was instantly calmed. Every fibre of my being instantly relaxed and I reached around him with my free arm and held him close. I needed this.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked.

"Well, I made us some sandwiches" I said, holding up the basket.

"Sounds great" he said with a smile. All the pain in his voice didn't register on his face today.

We headed to the nearby park in silence. My internal dialogue was of course, not silent at all. We found a bench and I laid out the picnic for us both. We sat and ate, chatting about the week we had. Jake asked me about my college assignments and I asked how his work at Sam's had been. It was to sit and hang out like we used to. It had been so long since we were together in this way.

"I have missed this" I said, sipping on my juice.

"Me too" he replied.

I looked around at the people who were enjoying the park nearby. There were couples, families, people walking dogs and people pushing strollers. Everyone's lives seemed so simple. Why was it so difficult for us?

We finished up and Jake packed everything back into the basket.

"Do you wanna see a movie or something? I asked. Trying to find something to do so he didn't leave. He hesitated.

"Yeah sure" he said. I felt like his heart wasn't in it, but I didn't say anything. There would be time to talk about serious stuff later. I was enjoying just spending time with Jake.

We took the basket back to my apartment and headed back down the lift and out onto the street. The movie theatre wasn't too far away so we walked there. We bought tickets to the first movie that was on and grabbed some snacks. The movie wasn't interesting and when we got out, we were laughing at how incredibly bad it was. It felt so natural to be laughing with Jake like this.

I thought about the last time I had laughed with Edward like this. I couldn't remember. Fun wasn't in Edwards vocabulary it seemed.

We headed for a nearby bar where we ordered some drinks. I knew that the conversation was coming and although I desperately wanted to avoid it, it had to happen.

"What do you want Bella?" Jake asked. I breathed in sharply.

"Jake…" I began.

"You love me" it wasn't a question.

"Of course, you know I do... Jake… If I could choose right now, I would choose to have him stay away forever, but it's not so simple" I said, the honesty of what I was saying taking me by surprise.

"It is simple Bella. You're not happy with him in that big fancy apartment... It's not you, that's why you find every excuse you can to be on campus or to be with me" he said.

"I have been happy... there... with him" I started. "When he leaves, that's when I start to question everything". I admitted. Jake was silent for a minute, he looked as though he was thinking.

"Do you want to know why, Bella? Why you want to be with him so badly _only_ when he's there?" Jake said, finally.

"Do you have a theory?" I asked.

"Old Quill told us one of the legends about the cold ones last night at the tribal meeting" he began. That must have been why he couldn't come.

"He said that they have these... attributes... that draw humans in" he continued said. "They appeal to you to lure you in so they can kill you. He's a predator Bella, the world's fiercest predator" he finished.

I thought about what he was saying, tracing through all my memories to see if any of it made sense with this new information. Suddenly, a particular conversation popped into my mind and I said it out loud as though it was only yesterday that I heard it spoken.

 _"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in - my voice, my face, even my smell"_

"What? What _was_ that?" Jake asked, seeming to struggle to understand.

"A memory, something he said to me a long time ago… You are right Jake, he is using his… attributes to… lure me in" I said, realising suddenly how it all fit together.

I shuddered as I continued, "That's why I feel the way I do when I'm around him, I'm addicted to his smell, his voice, his looks" tears came to my eyes and began to fall before I could stop them. "This is all a lie" my voice broke as I fought the sobs that were building.

He moved his chair closer to me and held me as the sobs took over.

"What do I do Jake?" I eventually choked out. "How do I get away from him if I literally cannot resist him?" I asked.

JACOBS POV

I was faced with the toughest situation I had ever imagined. I could give her advice that would change everything. If I told her to pack now and move back to Charlies, she would. But I had no business telling her what to do. I just had to help her decide for herself and support her to follow through with that choice.

"I can't tell you what to do Bells, this is something you need to decide for yourself" I said. She paused for the longest time. She was figuring this all out in her head. I wanted to be selfish and demand she tell me what she was thinking. I was desperate to know if she would choose me, if she would do what I so desperately hoped she would do and pack tonight, leave in the morning and never look back. That just wasn't her style though. I knew she needed a confrontation. She needed closure and I had to respect that.

"I need to do it face to face" she eventually said. "But I'll need help, Jake" she continued. I know immediately that it couldn't be me. I wasn't sure I would be able to contain myself if he got angry and I wouldn't risk phasing with her in close proximity in that apartment.

"I will help you as much as I can, but if he so much as raises his voice in the slightest, or tries to convince you to stay, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from ripping him apart" I said honestly.

"What are we gonna do?" she asked, tears streaming down her face still.

"I will get one of the guys" I offered

"And Charlie" she added.

"Charlie?" I asked, seeming confused.

"To ward off any unnecessary drama" She said. She was right. With Charlie there, nothing could go wrong.

…

 **Bella's POV**

We left the bar with a plan. We had everything down to a T. Ever since this morning, I knew that I had to find a way to be with Jake for good. I had no idea how I would go about doing it at the time. Every time I thought about leaving Edward over the last few months, I chickened out. All the plans I had made and scenarios I conjured up in my mind about what would or could happen were never realistic.

I knew now, why I couldn't bring myself to leave Edward. It was his whole being. I quite literally could not resist him. He was designed to lure me in and keep me there. As long as I was in his presence, I couldn't resist.

Upon realising this information, it was as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I always had a hunch that there was something magical involved in our relationship, but now I was certain.

We walked back towards the apartment hand in hand after a long stroll through the city, to start packing my belongings. I knew that I had to be ready to go so I didn't have to linger. If I stayed longer than completely necessary, I would fail in my attempt to leave.

We would pack tonight and Jake would go first thing in the morning and organise one of the pack members to come and wait for Edward to arrive home. I called Charlie and while he was confused, he was understanding and agreed to be at the apartment with me. If everything went to plan, I would be free within 24 hours.

We stepped into the elevator at my apartment block and Jake, with a mischievous grin on his face, pushed me against the wall, tipped my head up and kissed me the way that stirred up feelings down _there._

"Jake, you know if you continue doing that, we won't get much packing done" I said, breathlessly.

"Yeah, I know, but I can't resist." He said.

He leant in and began kissing me again, only less intense this time. I didn't resist. How could I? When the doors opened with a ding on the top floor, Jake pulled himself away from me and pulled me out of the lift with him. We were hand in hand, laughing together as I fiddled around in my bag with one hand for my keys.

As I was about to put the key in the lock, Jake stopped, frozen and pulled me back. His face was frozen too, with horror. What was happening?

"We need to get out of here" he said quietly.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked, scared.

"There's a vampire here. Two in fact" he said

"Who?" I asked

"Edward. I'm certain one is Edward." He began. "I think the other is the psychic" he said.

"They know" I whispered as we hurried back to the lift, jabbing the down button again and again.

"I was so distracted, I didn't notice the scent till we were almost in the door" he said.

He pulled his phone out and sent a group text to the pack.

From: Jake – To: Pack group  
Change of plans, 2 Cullens at the apartment. Need back up NOW

It felt like the lift was taking forever to come. As the doors opened with a ding and Jake and I got in, the door to my apartment opened and Edward was standing there, scowling. Oh shit, I thought. He was mad!

The doors closed and the lift started to descend before I could process anything. I looked to Jake and saw and felt him quiver. I hoped beyond hope that he wouldn't phase in here. If he did, I wouldn't stand a chance. I put my hands either side of his face and looked into his eyes. He instantly started to calm as he pulled me into an embrace.

"Everything will be fine Bella, I promise".

The lift doors opened at the bottom floor of the building and as we stepped out, waiting for us in the foyer was Edward and Alice.

"Stairs" I whispered, fear in my eyes. They were both furious.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN- please PM me if this chapter doesn't add up. Its months later and I've discovered that the two chapters i updated published with dodgy formatting. One of the frustrating glitches of posting fan fiction!**

 **EDWARDS POV**

I looked at the name that flashed up on my phone. Alice. Somehow, I knew something was wrong. I answered it and her voice was desperate.

"Edward, Bella's future has changed" she said.

"I thought you were having trouble seeing her" I replied, shocked that she had seen anything at all.

Alice hadn't been able to see Bella's future clearly since we moved to Port Angeles. She had been able to see me and Bella together and had even seen her as a vampire, some days. Other days she saw me and Bella together, me as I am now but Bella as an old woman. But she could only see Bella's future if she sifted through mine. Till now.

She often brushed it off as a weak spot in her vision or thought perhaps it was stress induced because of the move, but my instincts were telling me there was more to it.

"I was, but I tried looking through Charlie and I found her. This is a recent decision Edward. It happened today" she continued.

"I'll be there in 5 minutes, you can tell me more when I get there" I said as I began running through the forest to get to the house.

Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and I had spent the weekend at the house to put the finishing touches on packing it up for the next time we would be back in the area and I had been out hunting when Alice called.

I ran faster than I usually would to get back to the house and when I arrived on the front steps, Alice was there looking devastated.

"Edward, it keeps changing" she said, fear in her eyes. She was as invested in my relationship with Bella as I was, it seemed.

I looked into her mind and saw everything played out as if in a movie. She had looked into Charlie's future and seen him at the apartment with Bella. Boxes of Bella's belongings were stacked by the door and the calendar was on the same month as we're in now. The vision was foggy in places and it reminded me of the visions she often had that involved the wolves.

"That's the one I saw about 20 minutes ago, but it's different now" she said.

She showed me another vision. It wasn't easy to make out because it was filled with so much fog. I had never seen a vision with so many weak spots.

"What is it Alice?" I asked, confused.

"I think it's Jacob" she said with a disgusted look on her face. "I think he is there and she is leaving with him" she continued.

"I should have known" I said. "Bella has been dreaming of him almost every night" I said.

"Oh" is all Alice could say.

"I thought it was because she was worried about him. I didn't think she had heard from him since the battle" I went on.

I saw Alice's thoughts and didn't like what she was thinking.

"No Alice, she said she hasn't seen Jacob" I said, irritated that Alice would even consider the thought of Bella seeing Jacob without telling me.

"But Edward…" Alice began softly, "has she said it, or has she just said nothing about him altogether?" she questioned. Her mind pondered the thought of Bella taking advantage of my inability to read her mind and lying to me.

I thought about it for a minute, and I realised that the topic of Jacob hadn't come up sine the night after the newborn battle. She was so distraught when I saw her and said she didn't want to talk about him anymore. I respected her wishes and agreed not to bring up the topic of Jacob Black until she did. I supposed that I should have said something when I first started hearing her whisper his name in her sleep.

"She just hasn't mentioned him, Alice" I spat.

Emmett and Jasper came out of the forest and saw the look on our faces. An instant calming feeling washed over us and I glanced at Jasper as he smiled. His mind was blank, except for his calming thoughts.

"I'm going home to check on her" I said. I was able to rationally consider all the options and realised it was important for me talk to Bella face to face about what was going on.

"I'll come with you" Alice said.

"Thank you, Alice" I replied.

We were driving though Port Angeles and had stopped at a traffic light. With my patience wearing thin, I looked around the surrounding shops and restaurants. I was distracted by several couples walking hand in hand down the street. There was one couple that looked so unbelievably in love. The woman was leaning on his arm as they walked, and the man leant his head on top of hers.

I wished that Bella and I had had that type of relationship. Unfortunately, the closer she would get to me, the more I pulled away. I didn't want her to be in danger and that meant not allowing her to get too close. The times I would put my arms around her, she would shiver with cold and I'd instantly let her go.

As the couple turned their heads to kiss, I recognised them. I couldn't believe my senses hadn't picked it up immediately… It was Bella and Jacob.

"Don't!" said Alice, as my hand automatically went to reach for the door handle.

She had seen them too. It was sickening. They just looked like an ordinary couple walking down the street at night time. But she was mine! She chose me. What was she doing with him? It took all of my inner strength to keep driving. I had to try and stay calm, get home and rationally sort all of this out. I was pretty sure they hadn't seen the car so we had the element of surprise.

I had let it slide when she asked him to kiss her on the day of the battle. She was clearly desperate, not wanting Jacob to do something stupid. I was also so blinded by my desperate, selfish desire to be with her, I didn't dare to be angry with her, in case she chose him over me.

But now she had gone too far. I pulled the car into the underground parking lot next to her truck and I looked to Alice as I put my car in park. She was worried that I would hurt Jacob _and_ Bella.

"I would never hurt Bella, Alice, you should know that" I said, offended that she would even consider it.

"Just be careful" she said. We avoided the lift and took the stairs instead. Before long we were in my apartment, overwhelmed by the stench of wolf.

"EWW! His stink is everywhere" Alice said, disgusted.

I didn't know what to do. I knew we only had a small amount of time before they would get here, so I got some boxes out of the storage room and started packing my belongings.

"What are you doing?" Alice asked "This is your place Edward, if she is cheating on you, you need _her_ to leave, not you" she continued.

"Alice, I have no desire to stay in this _place"_ I said. It was true, this place offered me nothing. I was only living here purely for Bella's sake and if she wanted to be with Jake, I wasn't going to stay in this town. Alice just looked at me, her face blank.

"You're coming home then". It wasn't a question. She had just seen it.

I hurriedly gathered up as many of my things as I could and within 5 minutes, I had packed almost everything I owned into a few boxes. As Alice was closing the last box, the lift opened outside of the apartment door with a 'ding'.

Alice and I waited for Bella to open the door and face what she had done. I was anxious, not knowing what would happen, hoping that Jacob would control himself and not phase in the anger of the moment.

I could suddenly hear his thoughts from outside of the door, growing in panic. He knew we were here. His mind was frantic, he was texting his pack and swearing in his thoughts. Typical immature wolf, I thought. Alice's mind was thinking the same thing. We didn't need to speak to each other.

I could tell that Jake and Bella had called for the lift to come back up, so Alice and I rushed to open the door. As we stepped out into the foyer, they ran into the lift and the doors closed behind them.

"Down the stairs" I said to Alice.

We opened the door on the ground floor of the stairs with plenty of time to spare. My mind was racing now. I knew for certain that my future was not with Bella. It was clear as if it were on a sign, posted right in front of my face.

As the lift opened, I couldn't contort my face into anything other than a furious scowl. I loved Bella, I would always love her. If given the chance, I supposed I would even forgive this betrayal. But my natural instincts to get her as far away from Jacob as possible were driving my anger. Bella and Jacob entered the foyer and were shocked to see us standing there, waiting for them. Perhaps they had forgotten that we were fast?

I heard Bella whisper "stairs" and Jake nodded slightly. His mind saying _"Shit, didn't think of that"._

I read as much as I could of his racing mind. He was trying desperately to hide things from me. When he noticed me watching him, he began singing nursery rhymes in his mind and thought _"stay out of my head, leech"._

"Edward… I… I'm…" Bella began, glancing from me to Alice to Jake and back to me.

Interrupting Bella's stammering was Mandy, who came wandering into the foyer from out on the street.

"Hey guys" she began. She looked around to all of us in turn, her face turning from the usually happy smile, to a look of shock and fear. She shot a worried glance at Bella. Her mind was racing and as she looked to Jacob and then back to me. _"I wonder what's going on here. This is a bit awkward. I wonder who the other girl is. Maybe he's cheating on Bella too? That would be convenient."_

"Hello Mandy, this is my sister Alice" I said, breaking her mental chaos.

"Hi Alice" she said, "I really like your jacket" she continued.

"Thank you" said Alice, "Its Gucci" she continued politely.

After an awkward pause where Mandy's mind was running at 100 miles an hour with garbage I could hardly make sense of, she shrugged and headed for the lift.

"Bella, make sure you come and see me later, yeah?" she said, a bit too forcefully as the lift opened. She was worried I would hurt Bella and she wanted to know what was going on.

"Of course," Bella responded. And with that, the lift shut and Mandy disappeared.

"Bella…" I began. I wanted to let her know that I knew, but didn't want to lose my cool.

"We need to talk" she said, confidently. "Can we go outside?" she asked.

I gestured for her to go first and looked at Alice as if to tell her to wait. She got the hint, as did Jacob, so they waited as Bella and I walked out the front doors of the building. We sat on a bench and as she looked into my eyes, I knew now more than ever that there was no love left.

"I need you to know that I never meant for any of this to happen" she began. I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up her hand. "I just need to get this out… please, can I just say what I need to before I lose my nerve?". I nodded.

"I'm guessing you know by now that I'm leaving you?" I nodded. "It has been a really difficult few weeks for me. I started to realise that my feelings for you were changing. The more time we spent apart, the more I realised my feelings were a lie" she said. I couldn't work out what she meant and I guessed my face gave me away, because she went on.

"What I mean is… when I'm around you, I feel drawn to you. Like there is some magnetic force-field, drawing me in, bringing me to you, making me want you more and more. The more I spent time at college or away with Charlie, the more I realised my feelings were a lie" she said. I heard the increase in her heartbeat and noticed the subtle change in her breathing. She was about to lose control.

She took a steady breath and continued with her explanation.

"I turned to Jake… I don't know why. I guess he was just the easiest person to talk to… I really don't think I should go into detail, but things got out of hand between us". She paused, obviously struggling.

"Tonight, Jake told me about the legends of the cold ones and how they have attributes to lure humans, to lure their… prey" she said with a shudder at the last word. I suddenly knew where she was going with this. "He said that humans are weak to resist the pull of vampires and become addicted to the smell, touch and taste of them… As soon as he said that, it's like everything clicked" tears were now streaming down her face. "I remembered… what you… said to me… that day in the forest…" she was crying now.

"I told you that I'm a predator… That my voice, my face, my smell… All lure you to me" I finished for her.

Everything suddenly became very clear to me and I was no longer angry at her – or Jacob. I was angry with myself. I was so angry that I let it get to this point without realising. I had done this to her. I took these years of her life away from her. I should have just stayed away, when I realised how much I wanted her. When I first realised how infatuated I was with her, I should have gone as far away from Forks as possible and never looked back.

We sat in silence for the longest time. I went over all my options and could think of only one that made sense.

"I've packed my things" I said. "If you wait here, I will be gone in a few minutes" I said.

"I don't want you to leave your apartment Edward" she pleaded.

"Bella, this is your home, I'm leaving it to you… you and Jacob" I said.

"No Edward, I can't….." she began.

"Bella!" I said, a little too forcefully, "Its already done. The apartment is in your name. If you don't want it, sell it. Money is nothing to me".

She was quiet. It was all sinking in. I got up to leave, but before I walked away, I leant down and kissed her on her head. I would never forget the smell of her hair or the feel of her warm skin on my cold hard flesh. I didn't look back as I walked in through the doors of the lobby and into the stairwell. It was finally over.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. Tonnes of family stuff going on at the moment. I still have this story in the back of my mind all the time. Loads of ideas and more fun stuff to come.**

 **ALICE'S POV**

I tried my hardest to focus on Edwards future while he was outside with Bella. I wanted more than anything for them to be together. Once upon a time I had seen a spectacular life for the two of them. A wedding, a little house in the forest, even Bella as a vampire. In the last few months, those visions have changed so many times. Even now they were changing. The vision I had had earlier that day that included Charlie had changed almost immediately after I called Edward, triggered perhaps by the phone call and Edward's decision to go home.

The visions were not always completely clear and now I knew why. Bella had Jacob in the forefront of her mind every single day. I had never had clear visions while the wolves were interfering and this was no exception.

The visions I was having now indicated that Edward and Bella were over for good. I hoped that I was wrong and searched every possible avenue to find an alternative future, but there was none to be found. Edward would remain heartbroken for eternity.

As I brought myself out of the vision, I focused on the present company. Jacob was pacing. I was tempted to spit an insult at him, but held my tongue. There was no use creating a fuss with the dog, so I turned my attention to trying to hear what was being said outside.

It was all so confusing. I wondered why Edward wasn't trying harder. He seemed to be giving in. He had been so possessive of Bella, I struggled to think of a single thing that would make him just walk away.

As I heard Edwards footsteps approach, I braced myself for some kind of fury. As he walked through the doors, there was no fury, only pain. I found myself feeling grateful that Jasper wasn't here. I didn't have his abilities but I could tell when someone was in pain. I pressed the call button on the lift, guessing that he would be in no mood to climb several flights of stairs. He looked up at me and smiled a half smile, as he came and stood next to me.

"Congratulations, Jacob, you've won" he said, in an almost whisper.

"It's not about winning, it's about making Bella happy" Jacob responded. Hmm, I thought to myself, he is right. "And I'll do my best to keep her that way" he continued when he saw the look of realisation on both of our faces.

Edward just nodded as the doors to the lift opened. We entered the lift as Jacob walked out the main doors and on to the street where Bella stood, tears streaming down her face. If I could cry, this may have pushed me over the edge.

The lift ascended to the top floor and I couldn't contain my thoughts anymore, so I said out loud the thing I was thinking.

"You just let her go?"

"I had to, Alice" he said

"But why? I don't understand. Why don't you fight for her? I thought you loved her?" I asked.

"It's because I love her that I'm letting her go. _He_ did the same thing after the battle and at first, I didn't understand it. But now I do. If I fight for her and win, I will always compete with the memory of Jacob and _her_ thoughts about 'what if'. I know that I am walking away, but at least we gave it a go" he said. He let out a sigh that had nothing to do with breathing. He was exhausted.

"I don't think she ever actually loved me. Not really" he continued.

"Don't be ridiculous" I said as the lift opened. We walked in to the apartment and began picking up boxes.

"It's true. She said it herself. She was lured by me. By my scent, my looks, everything about me. I drew her in and she was captivated, obsessed, addicted!" he said, anger, sadness and frustration building inside of him.

"It doesn't mean you have to let her go" I pleaded. I was almost as saddened to let go of Bella as he was. She was like a sister to me.

"Of course it does, Alice. I can't stay with her, knowing that there's even the slightest chance it's all false. Even though I could quite easily convince her to change her mind, I know that it would be purely selfish. I only want Bella to be happy" he replied.

This isn't right. Edward and Bella belonged together. I saw it. If it wasn't love, if it was his essence that had drawn her in, _lured_ her there, I would not have seen a future where they were both vampires. I was certain that she loved him, that there was more to it than just some supernatural attraction. There had to be. Didn't there? Or was it all false?

Was Bella drawn only to Edward's supernatural attributes and blind to it all, thinking she truly loved him? Maybe my visions had been based on what Bella had intended at that particular moment? When I had visions of her as a vampire, it was at the height of their relationship. They had been spending so much time together, totally enthralled by each other. Now that they had more time apart, she must have been noticing a change in her feelings as she had been drawn to him less and less. And that is what caused this change in decision that sparked my vision.

He was right. As much as I knew he loved her, I knew he needed to let her go. For her sake.

"She may come back… someday" I offered. His face just looked even sadder, if that was possible. I wanted to do something to help him but I couldn't think of anything. I searched his future for some hope of happiness but found none. He would roam this world, sad and alone for the rest of his days.

 **BELLA'S POV**

I sat on the bench in the street with tears streaming down my face. Edward had given up, he realised what had been happening all along & he understood. I was crying tears of sadness at realising the life I had just given up but joy as well at the thought of being free to be with Jake.

Edward and I had been through a lot together and now it was all over it was like I could breathe now.

Jake walked out of the building and came and sat next to me, putting his arm around me. He was so warm. Amazingly warm. This was where I belonged. Here, in the arms of my sun, my own personal sun. I knew things would never be perfect, as long as I lived, bit I knew that while I was with Jake, everything would be OK.

"He left me the apartment" I said to Jake with a laugh. I couldn't work out why he would have done that. I didn't want anything from him except his understanding.

"I can't live there" I continued "it's not me. You can see that, right?"

"yeah" he said. "we'll sort all that out later".

Jake turned to look at me and slowly wiped my tears with his thumb. He leant closer and kissed me softly on the lips.

"This is it now Bella, it's over. You're free" he said

"I am" I said in an almost whisper.

"So I guess there's something I need to ask you" he said. I froze, scared that he would ask me to marry him. I had just escaped marriage before my 20s with Edward and saying no to him was hard enough. There was no way, after everything, that I could hurt Jake by say no. I just hoped that he wasn't about to ask me. I bit my lip as my forehead creased into a frown.

He must have noticed the look on my face because he hesitated before continuing,

"Bella Swan..." he said, as I gulped. "Will you be my... Girlfriend?" he said with a grin.

I smiled, totally surprised by this formality. I guess I just assumed that once Edward was over, we'd automatically be boyfriend & girlfriend. It seemed such a childish concept for two people who had been through so much, but k would take it, nonetheless.

I nodded and flung my arms around him.

"Of course I will" I said. He smelt like the earth and the sun. He smelt like my Jake.

"I thought you were going to propose" I said into his neck.

"What would you have said, if I did?" he asked with a chuckle, as we untangled our arms.

"I probably would have run off down the street" I said back.

"That would be something to see". Jake laughed at the idea of me running anywhere, let alone away from a marriage proposal.

We sat for a while, watching the people walk along the street and it wasn't long before Edward & Alice pulled out of the underground car park and drove off, into the night. I doubted whether I'd see either of them.

...

I opened the door to the apartment and walked in with Jacob holding my hand. There were very few tell-tale signs of Edwards departure. Everything was still neatly in its place, but the more I looked, the more I noticed his absence. I felt lighter, freer and suddenly, completely like myself.

The events of the night had given me a headache so I wandered into the kitchen to have some water. On the bench, I noticed Edward had signed some documents to transfer the apartment and an amount of money over into my name.

This isn't what I wanted. I didn't care about the apartment or the money or any of that. I just wanted to be with Jake. Jake looked down at the document in front of me and shook his head.

"I can't accept this from him" I said. "it's too much". Jake wrapped me in his arms around me and held on to me, just the way I needed him to. I didn't have to ask, plead or insinuate that I needed his comfort, he seemed to be driven by instinct to just be whatever I needed him to be.

"How about I run you a bath Bells", he said, interrupting my thoughts.

"sure" I said in a whisper.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. Life has kicked my ass big time pretty much since i started writing this. I have had a lot on, and this story has been my escape. But there are times that you cant run from what is going on and you need to just allow yourself to experience the hard times.**

 **I've read so much twilight ff and have experienced so many different versions of Bella. I've seen whiny Bella, sad Bella, crazy Bella, strong Bella and all kinds of Bella in between and that's ok. This is just my take on how I think Bella could grow and change with these new experiences. Its ok if you don't like it, no one has to :-)**

...

Chapter 11

I woke the following morning tangled in Jake's arms. I smiled a content smile, which I knew was a first of many. It wouldn't be easy, but I knew now more than ever that I belonged with Jake.

I left him to sleep as I carefully untangled myself to go and make breakfast. Some of the pack had arrived just after Jake had run me a bath and stayed late into the night, reminiscing about vampire drama and discussing their future without vampires. I left them to it at about 2am and went to bed.

As I wandered down the hallway, I was greeted by Seth who was on the couch watching TV.

"Hey Bella" he said, chirpy as ever.

"Hey Seth, do you want some breakfast?" I asked

"That'd be great".

I got started on cooking up whatever I could find. Given that I was the only person who lived here that actually ate food, the choices were limited.

Before long, there were 4 hungry wolves at my kitchen table, eating breakfast as I tip toed down the hall to the bedroom with a tray of food for Jake and me. This is what a typical Sunday could be for us. As I entered the bedroom, Jake sat up in bed.

"Hey Beautiful" he said with a sexy smirk.

"Hey there yourself" I responded. "Are you hungry?" I asked. He frowned as he rubbed his stomach.

"Starving" he said. "What time is it?" he asked.

"A little past mid-day" I told him as I placed the tray down on the bed.

"Wow, you let me sleep most of the day?" he asked

"I only got up about half an hour ago" I said. "The guys are eating in the kitchen" I added, as I scooped a forkful of eggs off my plate and into my mouth. We sat quietly eating our breakfast for a while before Jake spoke.

"You'll have to call Charlie soon. He was supposed to come around"

"Yeah, I sent him a text, but I'll call him soon and let him know what happened" I said. I was still struggling to actually believe that last night had happened. The wolves in my kitchen this morning were a dead giveaway that it wasn't a dream.

"So" Jake began, with enthusiasm that pulled me out of my thoughts. "What are we doing today then?" he asked with a grin.

"Hmm" I said as I laid back on the bed "I could just lay here all day" I said.

"Now _that_ is tempting" Jake replied as he laid down and faced me. I looked into his eyes as we laid next to each other and leant in to kiss him gently. That was all it took for our desires to take over and for us to become lost in each other.

By the time we had gotten up, showered and dressed, the guys who had stayed the night had gone home. It was mid-afternoon when we ventured out of the apartment, intending on going for a walk.

I had called Charlie and he sounded relieved to know that it was all over with Edward and there was no drama. I didn't mention that I was now with Jake. I thought I would leave that till another day.

We got into the lift and as Jake went to press the button for the ground floor, I stopped him, pressing the button for the second floor, deciding that I needed to see Mandy.

When the doors opened on the second floor, we walked to her door and knocked. A few moments later, the door opened and her face appeared. She was so excited to see us that she threw her arms around us both at once and let out a squeal.

"Oh my gosh Bella I thought something horrible was going to happen when I saw you lot down in the lobby!" she said in her dramatic tone.

"Sorry about that" I began "that's why I'm here, I just wanted to let you know that everything is ok" I said.

"I'm so glad you did, come in, tell me all about it" she said as she gestured for us to go inside her apartment.

We went in and she immediately busied herself in the kitchen making drinks. I sat at the bench as Jake leant against the wall in the way that gave me butterflies. I pulled my eyes away from him and looked to Mandy as she giggled.

"Wow, you've got it bad don't you?" she said.

"What?" I asked, a huge smile appearing over my face.

"So is Eddy gone for good? What happened last night?" she asked as she placed some drinks in front of us.

"He was here last night when we got back from dinner" I began, as Mandy leant against the bench. "I had decided that I was going to leave once he got home today and was going to start packing last night but he was there when we got back from dinner… We just had an honest chat about how things had been between us and he decided to leave" I said, putting as much of the truth into the story as I could. I couldn't tell her about Alice's vision or hint that he and Jake could have quite easily killed each other in a fit of rage, so I carefully selected the parts of the story to divulge.

"So why were you all in the lobby?" she asked, seeming confused.

"Bella was afraid that we'd get into a fight, so we took it somewhere a little more open" Jake answered, with a smile on his face.

"Well, I dare say you could take his pasty ass any day" Mandy said with a wink and a glance up and down Jakes tall muscular frame. A slight ping of jealousy stirred inside me, which I quickly extinguished with a glance at my boyfriend who only had eyes for me.

"Thanks" Jake said, as he unconsciously puffed out his chest and let out a slight chuckle. If only Mandy knew the things Jake was capable of.

"So you two are, what now?" Mandy asked.

"Oh, we're official" Jake replied as he snaked his arm around me and kissed me on the temple. I smiled.

"So the apartment?" She continued.

"Well that's another thing" I began. "He left it to me" I said with a sigh.

"This is great Bella" she began.

"Is it?" I said before she could continue.

"Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be? That's a great apartment!" She said, excited.

"It's just not for me thought. It's too much. I was thinking of selling it and getting something a little smaller" I said. She seemed to be thinking for a moment before she ran out of the kitchen and into her bedroom.

I looked to Jake, who seemed as confused as I was.

"Did I say something?" I asked. He shrugged. Mandy came rushing back into the room, her phone to her ear.

"So they're definitely leaving? How long? This is an emergency, surely you can speed things up a bit? Fully furnished? And you can sell the apartment for top price? Next weekend? I'll find out and get back to you…. Thanks Daddy, love ya" she hung up the phone.

"Well, the people across the hall are leaving this week. Daddy said you can rent that apartment if you want. And he can start showing your apartment as soon as the weekend" she said.

I was surprised. I had expected to be stuck in that apartment for months. The rental market is pretty tough at the moment.

"wow, I really don't know what to say" I said. "Thank you, Mandy"

"Oh it's nothing, really. Daddy owns most of the apartments in this building, the rest he manages through his agency. How do you think I live here all on my own?" she said with a giggle.

"So, you'll be moving in too, Jake?" Mandy asked. I hadn't thought about it at all. Of course I wanted Jake around as much as possible. I looked to Jake, who looked just as unsure as I was.

"We haven't actually spoken about any of that yet" I said. "Of course…" I looked to Jake "…I would love for Jake to live there with me… but he has his job and his dad that he looks after. And he has community responsibilities too... It's something that we'll probably have to talk about, I think" I continued. Jake just nodded, which made it really difficult for me to figure out what he was thinking. Did he want to move in with me so soon? Or did he agree that he had to stay back at La Push with his family?

After another hour of one hundred and one questions, Jake and I left Mandy's apartment in a quieter mood than we had arrived in. My mind was working overtime, thinking about what to do and how to start the conversation with Jake about our living situation. We got in the lift without saying a word and exited when it arrived on the ground floor. We left the building and walked down the street in no particular direction.

We walked on in silence for the longest time before I couldn't take it anymore. I looked to Jake who seemed to be thinking hard himself.

"Jake, I'm not going to force you to move in, or not to move in... I just want you to know that I would be happy for you to do whatever you wanted to do" I said, the words not coming out as eloquently as I had planned them in my head.

He turned to me, holding my hands in his. The late afternoon sun was making his beautiful skin glow. He looked heavenly. He looked into my eyes and kissed me once, gently on the lips.

"Bella, I love you so much and you don't know how badly I want to just pack up everything and move in with you. I just think, for now, I need to stay at home. At least for a bit" he said.

I wasn't upset, even though I thought I would be. It wasn't a rejection, it was more of a 'not now'.

"You're right. Completely! You have to be home with Billy and you just started your new job. Of course you need to stay there" I said, shaking my head at the absurdity of the idea that he could just pack up and move here with me.

"I will come visit as much as possible though. And stay over on weekends whenever I can" he said, as he wrapped his warm arms around me. I felt like I was finally home. This was where I belonged. I didn't care how long it took before we could live together. We were still young and had plenty of time to grow up and begin an adult relationship.

"We have plenty of time to grow up and be adults together" I said.

"Mmm" he said, as his eyes lingered on my lips, "and till then…" He kissed me "…we can do this" he kissed me again "…and that" he kissed me again, this time more passionately. He pulled me closer, not caring about the people who walked past us, kissing in the street "… and that, whenever we can" he said as we finally broke apart.

We started walking again, hand in hand, until we came to a movie theatre. We walked in and saw the first movie that was playing. We sat up the back, like naughty teenagers, making out the whole time. It was great. The perfect end to the weekend. I knew that the next five days would be hell. I would miss Jake like crazy. His smile, his warmth, his body. I also hadn't done any work on my assignments and I hadn't done any reading to prepare for my classes. I didn't care though. I was here, in Jakes arms. This was where I belonged. I had finally realised that all I had needed, this whole time was Jake, and I had him.


	12. Chapter 12

**(sorry to do this... but...) THREE AND A HALF YEARS LATER**

I drove my car into the driveway of a beautiful big house that sat on a huge block of land. Jake had asked me to meet him here after we both finished work.

In the last four years, he had worked his way up the chain of command in the mechanics workshop he started at, and was now partners with the man who initially hired him. It had meant a lot of hard work, but Jake loved what he did and put in the hours he needed to, to gain the trust and respect of, not only his boss, but the clients who took their cars to him.

Jake had a reputation for not messing people around and not over charging. This meant that the business wasn't making as much as the big businesses, but they had a larger clientele.

I had started working at a local paper in Port Angeles while I was studying and got a job writing the headline articles once I graduated. We were both living our dream lives.

I had been renting the apartment across from Mandy since the apartment that Edward and I bought had sold. It only took one showing before it had four offers and I accepted an offer from a business man who bought it to rent it to college students. He initially asked if I wanted to rent it from him, but I couldn't stay there. I had thought about buying an apartment in Port Angeles, but after looking at a few over the years, nothing ever felt right.

Jake had remained living in La Push to care for Billy and spent weekends with me at the apartment until 6 months ago when Billy passed away. It was a really rough time for Jake, and our relationship struggled for a while.

I didn't think for one minute that it would destroy us, but there were times where I felt Jake pull away from me in his grief and it took a lot to get him to open up. Jake struggled, emotionally, to deal with losing his dad. He had been Billy's carer for so long, it was like he had lost his father and a part of who he was, all at the same time.

Billy had begun to experience complications related to his condition and eventually, his body gave up. Billy's mind remained as sharp as ever right up until the end and he went, on his own terms. We had visited him one afternoon in the hospital and sat with him as he slept. The doctors were surprised he had survived the previous night, but we just sat and held his hand as Jake whispered things to him in the Quileute language. It was such a beautiful moment between a son and his dad that I will never forget. It was only an hour after we left that the doctors called to tell Jake that Billy had passed. There was no pain, just peaceful sleep until he went off to the afterlife.

After Billy passed, Jake found it difficult living in the house with all the memories so he packed his stuff and moved to my apartment, leaving the house to his sister.

We had quickly found that our tiny apartment wouldn't hold us both, so we had initially started looking around Port Angeles for somewhere to rent while we thought about where we wanted to buy. We trudged around every open house, every weekend but never found something that felt like us.

I parked the car in the driveway next to Jake's black truck and got out. The air was beautiful and warm and smelt of nature and pine. I was wondering what I was doing here when I noticed Jake walking over, a huge grin on his face.

"So, babe, what do you think?" he asked, excitedly.

"About what?" I said as I kissed him in our usual greeting.

"This" he gestured to our surroundings.

"I don't understand" I said as Jake took my hand. My mind was running at 100 miles per hour as I tried to make sense of why he would bring me here.

"One of my customers mentioned to me yesterday that he was selling his house and it sparked my curiosity" he began. "We've been looking for so long, I thought we might as well take a look" he said with a slightly excited tone in his voice.

I looked around at the beautiful house. It was on a huge block of land in a small town, right in between Forks and Port Angeles. It seemed perfect.

"Can we take a look inside?" I asked. Jake reached into his pocket and pulled out a key as he looked at me with a smile on his face. I hadn't seen him like this in so long. He was so incredibly happy, it was infectious. We walked up the stairs that led to a veranda which surrounded the entire house.

"We only have a couple of days to decide before he puts it on the market, but if we want it, he said he would do us a great deal" Jake said as he turned the key and opened the door.

I stepped into the beautiful house and it took my breath away. It had open plan living and seemed full of life. The kitchen was enormous and had huge doors that opened to an entertaining deck that looked out to the forest.

We looked thorough the rest of the house but I had already made up my mind. This house was perfect. We had to have it. We stood on the deck looking out to the surrounding land. I turned to Jake and he seemed as happy as I was.

"It's beautiful" I said as Jake put his arm around me and kissed my temple.

"So, what do you think?" he asked.

"I love it Jake. I can see us growing old here" I said.

"Me too" he said as he wrapped both of his arms around me.

This was home.

…..

As the moving truck arrived at the house a couple of weeks later and the removalists began unloading our brand new furniture, I smiled, knowing how perfect everything would be. We would fill this house with life and love, get married and grow old here.

The house took up only a portion of what I had in the bank account from the sale of the apartment, so after the contract was signed and the money was exchanged, I sat down with an accountant to set up a trust fund. Since the battle with the newborns, I had felt that I had to do something to show my gratitude to the pack for all it had done for us. Knowing that many people who lived in La Push struggled financially, I decided to set up a fund for kids of La Push to be able to go to college.

The apartment had sold for a huge amount and Edward had left a lot in our joint account, which I had barely touched. It had accumulated a lot of interest over the years and had grown to an amount that I couldn't have dreamt of spending in one lifetime. I felt that it was only right that I give something back to the pack, plus it helped to stifle the guilt I felt over allowing Edward to leave me with the apartment and an insane amount of money.

We settled in to our new home in no time and before long, life was a new kind of normal. I was happier than I had ever been, living in our home with my Jacob. I had an office which I could work out of and Jake had a huge garage where he spent weekends tinkering with cars and various things that had engines.

Usually on weekends, I would put on a big dinner and invite Charlie over, or Sam and Emily, or members of the pack, or just everyone. We loved having people over and always felt comfortable surrounded by loved ones.

Over the years, the guys had settled down and most of them had girlfriends. None of the other members of the pack had imprinted which was a relief to me. In the beginning of our relationship, Jake and I had had one of our first fights after a disagreement about imprinting.

We had had an amazing dinner at Sam and Emily's place when the topic of imprinting had come up. I had thought about it a little, but we had never actually talked about what would happen if Jake ever imprinted on someone. I began to worry about our future together and on the way home in the car we had a massive fight.

I wanted to have a plan, some kind of action orientated strategy in place to minimise the pain if Jake were to imprint on someone and break up with me. Jake, of course, didn't want to hear of it. He was adamant that it wouldn't happen and swore to me that if he imprinted on someone, it would remain purely platonic between them. I still feared that we had made a huge mistake and at one point offered to walk away. But Jake, with tears in his eyes, bore deep into my soul and promised me that I was his true soul mate.

That was a significant moment for us. We knew we were head over heels in love with each other, but knowing it and having someone declare their undying love, promising to remain yours forever were two completely different things.

I had hoped that Jake was right and imprinting _was_ rare and not something we would have to deal with, but deep down, buried somewhere in the back of my subconscious, I was terrified that someday someone would come between us.

After that day, imprinting was something that I tried not to think about. If it ever plagued my mind, I'd push it to the far regions of my subconscious where I didn't have to think about it. As time went on and no other members of the pack imprinted, I felt less uneasy about it and gradually, the thought of it didn't worry me as much.

Soon after Jake and I made our relationship public knowledge, Sam and Emily got married in a beautiful ceremony on the beach. It was the most romantic day and you could feel the love in the air. Even Leah was able to put her feelings aside for the day to be present at the wedding. It was great to have everyone together again without the threat of death looming over our heads.

Overall, the years flew by so quickly and we found ourselves more in love than ever before. We hadn't talked about marriage and Jake knew it was a touchy subject for me. The idea had crossed my mind on several occasions and I often found myself scribbling ' _Bella Black'_ on a scrap piece of paper, but all in all, I was completely happy with how things were. Everything was perfect.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: A quicky but a goody... Working on something different for what follows this so I had to put this in as its own little chapter. Enjoy. Let me know what you think...**

Our 4 year anniversary came around quickly and Jake had told me to dress up and meet him at the front door at 4pm. When the time came, there was a knock at the door and Jake was standing in the doorway with a beautiful bunch of flowers, wearing a tux. He was stunning. My jaw almost hit the floor as I took in his appearance.

I couldn't help but grab him and kiss him, ignoring the limousine that was sitting in the driveway. He kissed me back in a way that made me not want to leave the house. He pulled away, breathless and I leant against the door frame while I caught my breath.

I put the flowers on the stand next to the door as Jake took my arm and led me out to the waiting limo. Inside, there was champagne and strawberries which made me feel giddy and happy.

The ride to our destination was long, but we filled it by reminiscing about everything we had done over the years. We had truly been blessed with this life.

We arrived at Seattle and the driver opened the door outside an expensive restaurant. I stepped out and almost stumbled over my own feet. I was wearing small heels, which were obviously a poor choice. My balance and coordination had not improved in the slightest over the years, but I had Jake to hold me steady. We entered the restaurant and were led to our table by a waitress who couldn't keep her overly made up eyes off my man. I smiled to myself, knowing that Jake only had eyes for me and took my seat at our table.

Before too long, we had found that our time had gone far too quickly and we were finishing our mains. I was feeling content, but made sure to leave space for the dessert which I had heard about through my work.

As we waited for our chocolate cake, Jake began to look worried. He started glancing around, seeming anxious.

"Are you ok?" I asked him

"What? Yeah of course I am" he replied. I wasn't convinced.

"You seem a bit off" I said. I couldn't think of what would make Jake behave this way. The only time I had ever seen him like this was when he had once sensed a vampire around. "Is there a … you know … somewhere here?" I asked in a whisper.

"What? No" he said.

I picked up my glass and took a sip of my champagne, feeling confused. In a motion that seemed far too quick, Jake stood up and took one of his giant steps closer to my side of the table. He knelt down on one knee and suddenly it all made sense.

"Isabella Swan..." he pulled a little box out of his pocket. My eyes began to fill with tears as everyone in the restaurant looked on. "…I love you with all of my heart and would like nothing more than to be with you for the rest of our lives…" he opened the box to reveal a beautiful ring with a simple diamond surrounded by a few smaller ones on the band. It was perfect. Just like Jake. "…will you marry me?" he finished, looking up at me expectantly. I noticed his hands were shaking with nerves, so I didn't hold out on him. I blinked once, as tears of happiness fell from my eyes and told him "yes" as he slipped the finger on my finger. I placed my hands on both sides of his face and looked into his eyes. He was perfect. I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him, putting as much of my love into it as I possibly could.

When we broke apart, a waiter was standing a little way off with our desserts in hand. I apologised and gestured for him to put the plates down as Jake stood up to take his seat. I looked at the ring that fit perfectly on my left hand and back at Jake as I realised how lucky I was to have this man be mine.

A while later, after we had finished our dessert and had a walk through the city, we got back into the limousine to go home. We spent the entire time kissing like teenagers and continued our passion when we got home, late into the night.


	14. Chapter 14

**EDWARDS POV – same day**

I sat at my desk in my menial job as a school counsellor wondering what my life had become. I had lived many lifetimes, but the last few years seemed to drag on, agonisingly slowly.

Teenagers spoke to me about their lives and I listened with feigned interest as their words danced around the truths of their minds. They seldom said what they thought and prying it out of them, when I could read their minds anyway, was a tedious process. It kept my days busy though and helped to fill a void that I hadn't been able to fill.

Initially, when I left the apartment that Bella and I shared, I spent some time travelling alone in an attempt to clear my mind of her. I knew that this is what needed to happen and despite every fibre of my being objecting at the time, I knew that I had to leave her so that she could have the life she wanted.

I never did understand why she was so ready to give up having a human existence to live an eternity as a vampire. She was giving up the opportunity to have children, have her parents in her life, grow old with the one she loves and die peacefully at an old age. There was no possibility of any of that while she was with me and I never understood why she, even at the age of 17, was so willing to give all of that up. Over time, my love and my desire to be with Bella, selfishly over shadowed all of that and I found myself hoping for a life with her as a vampire, by my side.

When we parted ways, I found myself feeling somewhat grateful that I wouldn't have to take her humanity from her. I loved her enough to let her be.

As time went on and I travelled around the world, I began to realise more and more that life without Bella could exist and I gradually began to allow myself to be happy. My outlook and outdated views on the world slowly began to shift with the times and within three years of leaving Port Angeles, I was ready to find somewhere to settle down as a young adult, rather than a teenager and make an attempt at something of an adult existence.

During my travels, I spent much of my time in the UK and eventually found a place in Scotland that felt comfortable enough for me to settle down and get a job. My charms and falsified papers were enough to secure me a job working in a high school in Glasgow and that is where I have been for the last year. Money has never been a motive for me to work, but somehow I felt that keeping busy was necessary to maintain a sense of sanity.

Living in Glasgow was advantageous for me, in that, I knew I wouldn't run into anyone I would rather avoid. While our clan had friends all over the world, I knew that if I kept to myself, I could live a free life. I knew that the Volturi would someday come to check on Bella and I hoped beyond hope that if they went to Forks and found no traces of vampires, they would assume we had all moved on.

As my thoughts drifted away, I glanced up at the clock. I had one more student to see and I was finished for the week. This student had been proving particularly difficult to build a relationship with, however it wasn't surprising given what I saw in his mind. I spent a lot of time doing exercises that encouraged thoughts to flow, which meant I knew a lot of what he had gone through but could never let on that I knew. The things this poor child had been through were enough to fill a horror movie. I often contemplated hunting down the wrongdoers and teaching them a lesson or two, but I had once vowed that those days were behind me.

The session with the boy went as expected. His use of profanities in his internal dialog over shadowed the memories that would occasionally flash to the surface. A boy hiding in a cupboard, a man who smelled of cigarettes and stale beer, and unimaginable pain. I ended the session as usual by allowing him the opportunity to speak freely. As usual, he left quickly, never wanting to hang around and not offering anything that he didn't have to.

As I packed my laptop into my bag, I pulled my phone out of the side pocket. I had missed several calls and had some messages from Alice.

To: Edward - From: Alice  
Hi Edward. We have arrived in your beautiful city and will do some sightseeing until you're ready for us. Alice.

To: Edward - From: Alice  
Edward, this place is amazing. So much to do and see. I can see why you don't want to leave and join us in Denali.

To: Edward – From: Alice  
Oh, I think I forgot to mention, some of the Denali clan have joined us. I hope you don't mind. I already know that you won't but just giving you some notice. Alice x

To: Edward – From: Alice  
We are heading to your house now. I hope you're home.

The last one was fairly recent, so I quickly sent her a reply letting her know I was leaving work. I had arranged to see my siblings this weekend, as it had been a long time since we had all been together and was happy to finally have some time to get together.

I got in my car and headed home which wasn't very far. When I arrived at the house on the outskirts of town, I wasn't surprised to see everyone was already settled in. The house was fairly simple, modern and crisp, just how I liked it. There was no clutter or unnecessary furniture. I had a bed which was purely for show and I occasionally laid on it to read, mostly out of habit more than anything.

I was surprised to see that Irina, Tanya and Kate had come to stay as well. I knew that Irina was still grieving the loss of Laurent and Tanya and Kate rarely went out of their way to visit other covens. I figured that things were beginning to change.

As the afternoon wore on, I became increasingly frustrated by the inner dialogues of my fellow vampires. Everyone seemed to worry about me and wondered why I chose to isolate myself. They attempted to keep up the pretences, but I'm not sure why they bothered when they knew that I knew everything they were thinking.

I retreated to the back garden for some alone time when I heard the inner voice of someone I recognised. It was Irina and she was sad and alone. As I approached, I could sense a change in what she was thinking while she composed herself. I sat down next to her and for the first time in a long time, had a discussion about something other than how _I'm_ doing.

Irina had only begun a relationship with Laurent fairly recently before his death and was struggling with her guilt over what happened and the grief of the life that she could have had. I liked that Irina said exactly what was on her mind, which helped a two way conversation flow. With others, I often found myself being the only one who spoke out loud, the rest of the time, I was reading the mind of the person I was attempting to have a conversation with.

I spoke with Irina through her grief and we stayed there for quite some time, figuring out just how she was feeling. I had become quite an effective counsellor and it turned out, it just came out naturally, even with friends.

As night fell and the moon rose, I found myself drawn to Irina. I wanted to know more about her, but I wanted her to tell me, not to read it in her mind. We spoke for hours about anything and everything. I told her all about my life with Bella and about everything since, and she told me about the things she had been doing over the last few years. I felt at ease with Irina and everything I was reading in her, assured me she was feeling the same.

At one point, I went inside, leaving Irina talking to Tanya and was cornered by Alice. I read her mind as soon as she approached and laughed at the potential future she had seen in her mind.

"Edward, this is big news" Alice said, excitedly.

"It's ridiculous, Alice" I said.

"It's not though, Edward. It makes sense" she said. "You and Irina would make a great couple" she continued.

I had never contemplated the idea of a relationship with someone other than Bella before, however, if I thought about it, being in Irina's company seemed to change something within me. I suppose this is what people spoke of when they said they felt a 'spark' with someone. I had known Irina for many years, but had never so much as had more than superficial conversations with her.

This realisation had me feeling intrigued and I was determined to see where this could lead.


	15. Chapter 15

**EDWARDS POV**

I finished work the following Friday and headed for my house. My visitors had stayed for almost a week and all but Irina had left that morning. The week had been an intriguing one, as Irina and I became closer to one another.

It was certainly an experience, getting close to someone, while you have a future-seeing vampire staying in the same house. Alice would come to me every so often with a new version of the future, wanting me to see it in her thoughts. It was always something new as Irina and I both struggled to put our demons in the past and accept the possibility of a different future.

When the Cullen's and the Denali's had booked their flights to leave, I subtly took Irina to one side and asked her to stay. It was very forward of me, however, with my new modern outlook on life, I was determined to not let outdated, old world views get in the way of something good. I knew she wanted to stay, so I wasn't expecting her to say no, but when I asked her, I felt a pang of awkwardness and a fear of rejection that I hadn't felt before.

As I rounded the last corner before my house, I did so with excitement, knowing that there were endless possibilities waiting for me this weekend. I just had to embrace the opportunities.

I drove up the driveway and got out of my car. As I entered the house, Irina was waiting for me in the back yard. Her thoughts were jumbled and confused and I couldn't make out what she was thinking, so I stopped trying.

"How was your day?" I asked, attempting to ignore the awkwardness of the situation.

"It was great, how about yours?" she asked.

"It was very uneventful" I began "but much better now" I said with a smile. She returned the smile and her inner voice became more frantic. "So, what did you want to do this weekend?" I asked.

"I haven't seen the sights of Scotland in such a long time, it'd be great if we could just do some sightseeing" she said.

"That sounds like a fantastic idea" I began. "We can go whenever you're ready. I don't have anything to do here".

"I'll pack some things" she said with a smile, and sauntered into the house. She seemed to be trying her hardest to impress me and it was working. I hadn't ever found myself looking at anybody the way that I was looking at Irina. She was attractive and everything about her screamed sex appeal.

I wasn't sure where I stood on the topic of sex anymore. I had been so set in my ways and, as Bella had so eloquently put it once, 'old school', but now I wasn't so sure. If I chose to begin a relationship with Irina, there would be no need to be careful, no fear of hurting her just by kissing her. Somehow, I found myself wondering what it would be like to kiss another vampire, to hold someone who I wasn't afraid of breaking.

As I walked inside to pack some things for the weekend trip, my thoughts continued and I realised how much I was craving a connection with someone. Not only had I found Irina extremely attractive but we seemed to have a connection on a deeper level also.

Within the hour, we were in my Volvo heading up the coast in search of some tourist type things to do. We talked the whole time about all the things we had seen and done in our time as vampires. Irina told me about the immortal child that her mother had created once and spoke of how callously the Volturi came to rectify the situation.

She was saddened to tell me of how the Volturi didn't hesitate when they killed her mother and the child in front of her and her sisters. It was one of the hardest things she has had to endure, however it made her all the more stronger and solidified the relationship between her and her sisters.

We continued travelling through Scotland, stopping to spend time in the rainiest places we could find. We grew closer as the days turned into nights and we got to know each other more than ever before. By the end of the weekend, we had seen much of Scotland's beautiful scenery and some amazing castles and ruins. We had held hands through many museums and tourist destinations and travelled as though we were a couple. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.

On the last day, we decided to get a motel for a night, not to sleep, obviously because we didn't sleep, but to have a place to rest and unwind before heading back.

I tried my hardest not to tune in to the thoughts in Irina's mind, but there were times when I couldn't help but notice how intensely she thought of the forming relationship between us. I found myself thinking similar thoughts and imagining ways of touching on the subject with her. Even though we had grown close over the last week, I still felt uneasy discussing this with her. It was like being a teenager in high school, fearing the girl I had a crush on.

We sat in the motel room late that night, choosing to watch some TV, which I rarely did. I found it interesting and wondered why I hadn't done much of it in the past. I felt like the last few years had completely changed me, for the better. I was no longer uptight and worrisome. I felt different and free to do things I didn't usually do. I had no way of explaining it, other than perhaps I had come to a crossroads in my life where I could continue to listen to outdated music, do outdated things and be an outdated person, or I could move with the times, watch movies and TV, listen to modern music and _be_ a modern person.

I thought about that for a moment and realised the one thing I wanted to do above all else was experience the sensation of kissing someone who I wasn't afraid of breaking. I turned to Irina who had not been paying attention to the movie either. I thought perhaps she assumed I had been listening to her thoughts, because as I leant in to her, she leant towards me. In truth, I hadn't heard a single thought since being caught up in my own inner dialogue.

As our lips met, I felt instantly at ease. She was not warm and fragile like the breakable human I had been used to kissing in the past. She was the perfect temperature, we matched perfectly. As our lips moved in synchronisation, I realised that Irina was not a breakable human and intensified the kiss. She met my intensity and our tongues entwined. It was like fireworks had been going off in the room. The passion overcame us both and we were soon forced to pull ourselves apart to figure out what we were actually doing.

"Is everything ok?" Irina asked.

"Everything is great" I answered. "I just need to be sure that you are ok with this" I continued.

"I am more than ok with this" she said. "I assumed you could tell" she said as she tapped her temple.

"To be honest, I've been trying to stay out of your head" I said.

"Are you ok with this?" she asked.

"Absolutely" I responded.

She reached her hands to my face, hands that were the same temperature as mine. She slowly and gently caressed my face and traced her hands down my neck as she moved in again, putting her lips to mine. Her hands moved expertly over my shoulders and arms as our lips moved together and my hands moved to explore her perfect unbreakable body.

…

The next day, we embarked on our journey home quite early in the morning. We had spent a night fuelled by passion, entertaining many firsts for me and completely devoting time to getting to know each other's body on an extreme intimate level.

I had heard about the sensations of being with another person so intimately but had never had the chance to experience it for myself until now. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced and far more than I could have imagined.

Having the ability to read minds had its benefits because I was able to know exactly what Irina wanted and how. I seemed to come across as an expert and she was shocked to find that I was a 100 plus year old virgin.

As the night wore on we struggled to tear ourselves away from each other. There was no need to rest as we didn't tire. No need to eat, sleep, drink, because we had no need for that either. We could have, in effect, entertained these new sensations forever. But as the weekend had now drawn to a close and I wanted to keep my job, we had to head back to normality.

I invited Irina to stay for as long as she wanted, which she accepted. In hindsight, perhaps it wasn't as good an idea as I initially thought, because when I wasn't at work, we were completely enthralled in each other. It was difficult to drag myself away from her to go to work every day but I managed to part from her and hold on to my job somehow.

It wasn't too long before we discovered we were in love. It happened completely by accident after only a couple of weeks.

Irina had been laughing at a joke that I had told and out of nowhere, she said "I love you so damn much". I was shocked, but did not hesitate to say it back. I was head over heels in love with Irina and it didn't take a mind reader to see she was with me too.

Life was perfect.

 **AN - So Edward gets his happily ever after! Or does he?! Only time will tell. Back to Bella and Jacob next. Might be a while as life returns back to normal for me. A new uni subject and more intense student requirements mean i may not get a lot of time to do great chapters as often as i would like. I do, however have almost every chapter planned out so could do smaller chapters to keep the story going. Let me know what you prefer.**

 **Lots of love to orchidluv for the reviews! Keep them coming.**


	16. Chapter 16

**BELLA POV**

We had initially decided on a small wedding, just family and a few close friends. Before too long, however, most of Forks, La Push and a few friends from college and work were invited. There was one stage where I almost threw in the towel and called it quits on the whole thing, but my love for Jacob and my desire to be his wife over shadowed all of that and we pushed on together. At first, I thought Jake would be the type to hand over all the planning to me, but he was quite keen on helping to plan and organise even the smallest details.

Before we knew it, the day had arrived and I was standing in my bedroom in a white dress nervously awaiting my moment. I had Mandy, Emily and Leah by my side, helping me to get ready and ease any nerves I felt.

I had my hair and makeup professionally done while a photographer captured all the seemingly unimportant moments. Apparently, it was necessary and one day I would look back upon this day and appreciate the little things.

As I stood waiting for Charlie to arrive to escort me to my husband to be, I felt suddenly calm. I was still nervous as hell to be getting up in front of everyone and declaring my eternal love, I was never good at public speaking. But somehow, the idea of finally being able to say ' _Jake is mine'_ made me want to run full steam ahead down the aisle towards my future. There was nothing in this world that could come between us once we were married, not even some random imprint. Today would be the first day of the rest of our lives together.

As Charlie arrived and the music began, I couldn't wait to get down that aisle and see my soon to be husband. We had spent the night apart from one another, which felt so completely wrong to me. My bridesmaids began the walk to the alter and I was to count to five before following them.

Charlie took my arm and slowly, we walked through my living room and out to the back yard where my guests were waiting. There was no self—consciousness, I felt like a movie star. I glanced around the outdoor pavilion and saw that every member of the pack had come, along with Jakes sister, my friends from Forks High School, my mum and Phil were there and some of mine and Jake's friends.

I looked to the end of the aisle, at the man standing under the altar and almost fell over with longing. There stood the man I loved dressed in a tux, looking more handsome than I had ever seen him. My face felt flushed and I felt my pace quicken. Charlie held me back but my feet were trying to move me faster towards my goal.

It felt like an agonisingly long time before I arrived at the end where Jake was standing and I couldn't help but reach out to him and kiss him, breaking wedding protocol. I couldn't help it, it was like I was possessed. There were cheers and whistles from the guests, mostly from the pack, but I barely acknowledged them as we broke apart.

The marriage celebrant gave a little chuckle before nodding to Charlie, his queue to place my hand in Jakes, kiss me on the cheek and take his seat. The ceremony lasted only 20 minutes but it felt like forever. I said all the right things in all the right places and so did Jake. We were perfect.

The end had finally arrived. We said "I do", exchanged the rings and now it was time to kiss the bride. Jake took me in his strong arms and looked into my eyes as he spoke softly in Quiluete language, something that ended with Bella Black. I thought ' _I must ask him later what that was_ '. Our lips came together and we were finally one. It was the most amazing feeling in the world.

A lot of people had asked me, in the nervous lead up to the wedding, why I chose to get married when it's just a piece of paper. ' _You can live as a married couple with all the same rights as someone who was married, just without the fuss',_ they would say. I never could fully understand it myself until now.

Marriage is more than just a piece of paper. It's a feeling. When you're married, you are everything to, for and with that person. Just like an imprint. It is no longer gravity that holds you to the earth, but the other person. Jake was my gravity. He was my sun, my moon and my whole universe.

As I looked to my husband, everything that made me who I once was, seemed to be no longer significant. As long as I had Jake by my side, everything would be ok.

Jake's strong hands refused to let me go, instead pulling me back to him to have another go at 'kissing the bride'. This didn't bother me one bit, I was more than happy to be kissed again and again by my husband.

The guests stood up and applauded as we eventually pulled apart, completely breathless. My heart was pounding and certain feelings were stirring deep within me. Something was telling me they would not be quietened easily.

After we were kissed and hugged by every guest of the wedding, our photographer took us away for some photos around our property. We had some amazing views and some fantastic scenery so we utilised what we could to get some photographic memories. I knew though, in years to come, the only thing I would remember looking back on these moments was how badly I wanted to tear Jakes clothes off and have my way with him in the grass under our favourite tree.

After posing in so many different positions, in a variety of places, I told Jake that I needed him to help me with something inside. I simply couldn't handle the intensity of these feelings anymore and I had to have my way with him.

I led him in the house and to our bedroom, where I closed the door behind us. Jake must have been feeling it too, because the second the door was shut, we both frantically began attempting to get each other's clothes off. The dress proved impossible, so we did our best and in a record finish, we had satisfied our urges completely.

I fixed my hair and straightened Jakes tie before we headed back to our wedding. There was music playing and people were talking as we arrived. The MC announced the arrival of Mr and Mrs Black and we were welcomed with cheers and whistles that would have woken the dead.

I couldn't wipe the smile off my face if I tried and neither could Jake. I had never imagined that being married would feel like this. I struggled to take my eyes off my husband and although my company as in high demand by my guests, I struggled being even a few feet apart from him.

As the night wore on and all the traditional dancing, cake cutting, flower tossing and garter throwing were out of the way, the party really got started. I had ditched the uncomfortable dress for a more casual one in order to feel more relaxed. Wine, beer, spirits and champagne had been flowing freely and I was deep in conversation with Mandy, drink in hand when I began to notice a change in the atmosphere. The happy carefree air had been replaced with anxiety within the members of the pack and before too long, they had gathered in a group, whispering between themselves. I found this odd, as they hadn't had a gathering like this in years.

I felt that this could only mean one thing and I found myself walking away from Mandy, mid-conversation and looking around the party. I recognised everyone who had been here all evening until I glanced in the direction of the entry. There, just in the shadows, stood a guest who hadn't been here before. The sight of this person threw me into a spin. Why did she come? Is something wrong? Or is it just to stir up trouble? This is why the pack were anxiously gathered in a corner, talking in hurried whispers. When I realised what this could mean for them, I went into panic mode. I desperately wanted to avoid a fight here, in front of people who aren't part of this life. While I was certain the pack had caught her scent, I didn't think they hadn't seen her yet.

I glanced at Jake who was on the other side of the dancefloor deep in conversation with Sam. Other members of the pack had already taken off, obviously to phase and start searching. I had no idea what to do, so I slowly made my way towards this uninvited guest.

As I approached, her face broke into a glorious smile. I hadn't missed the feeling I got when I was in the presence of a vampire. It was unnerving.

She spoke, but I barely heard her words above the pounding of my heart, so I interrupted;

"What are you doing here, Rosalie?"

Her face dropped.

"I have to warn you about something" she said, her voice more heavenly than I remembered.

I looked over to Jake who was now staring in my direction, a look of horror on his face. I looked back at Rosalie and stood frozen to the spot. Behind Rosalie, in the dark, I saw the glowing eyes of two of the wolves, hidden from the guests by the shadows.

"You can call them off" she said, nodding to the wolves behind her. "I'm alone, and I'm not here to cause trouble" she continued. Jake was by my side in an instant and I felt an immediate flood of relief.

"What are you doing here?" he spat. I could see he was restraining himself. It had been a long time since he had phased and even longer since he had had to hold back his urge to phase.

"Like I was just saying to Bella, I have to warn her about something" she said.

"Anything you have to say to my _wife_ you can say to me" he said.

Rosalie looked from me to Jacob and back to me, with a raised eyebrow.

"You're married?" she asked.

"You're actually crashing it, leech, so whatever you need to say, you need to do it fast" Jake said. She didn't appreciate the tone of Jakes voice and seemed to grow irritated but she seemed to keep her cool.

"Is there somewhere we can talk?" she asked. I nodded and led her inside the house, Jake never leaving my side. We were followed by Sam and Jared who had remained at the party.

"I really like what you've done with the place" she said as we walked through the kitchen towards the living room. "Not quite my style, but then again, you always had simpler tastes" she continued.

"We're not here to chit chat, what is it that you've got to say?" Sam asked. Rosalie looked annoyed by the interruption.

"Alice has been watching the decisions of several people over the years – there has never been anything significant to worry about, but recently, she saw something that has the potential to be quite dangerous" she said.

"What is it?" I asked, a million possibilities soaring through my mind. Why didn't she just say what she needed to say?

"The Volturi are coming for you Bella – soon."


	17. Chapter 17

I felt Jakes arms on me before I realised my legs had given way underneath me and I was falling to the floor. I put my face in my hands and repeated to myself _'no no no no no'_ before the words started coming out of my mouth.

"No, no, no this can't be happening. This isn't possible". Tears streamed down my face before I realised I was crying. I vaguely recognised Jakes arms around me, holding me, keeping me together while I felt myself falling apart.

"This can't be happening" I repeated "I got away from that life, I'm not part of that world anymore" I choked out as sobs took over my body.

Jake took my face in his hands and looked me in the eyes,

"Bella, I promise you, they wont get anywhere near you" he said as he kissed me softly on the forehead. His tenderness in this moment of chaos was what I needed to pull myself out of my momentary panic. I wiped my face, stood up and looked around at the people surrounding us. I took a steadying breath and turned to Rosalie, who had gone quiet.

"So, when are they coming, and what do they want? I asked.

"They want to check on your transformation. If you remember, they were assured you would be turned" she said. "You can't be shocked by this Bella, you knew they were coming eventually" she continued. I turned to Jake who now had a look of shock on his face.

He was speechless for once.

"what are you saying, blondie?" Sam asked.

"Aro is coming, personally, within the next few weeks, to make sure Bella is a vampire. If he finds her human, he will turn her himself" she said, with finality.

"We'll just have to kill him" Jared said.

"Yeah, how hard can it be? He's like, what? 500 years old?" Embry continued.

"Its not that simple" Rosalie began. "Aro has guards with him at all times who have… abilities" she said.

"What sort of abilities?" asked Sam, with some authority.

Rosalie told the pack of the guards and their varying abilities and as she went on, the pack seemed more concerned. I was terrified. I considered running away, leaving forever and not coming back. Hiding somewhere they couldn't find us, but I realised how pathetic it sounded, even inside my own head. They were ancient vampires with endless resources. They would find us no matter how far or fast we ran.

"And running is out of the question?" asked Jake, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"It's pointless" I said. "They'll track us... no matter where, how fast or how far we go. They will find us" I said with a sigh. "We'll have to just hope they are understanding" I said. Rosalie gave a snort at this.

"yes, lets just hold on to hope that they are going to forgive this breach of the rules, again" she said.

There was a long silence where everyone glanced at each other, waiting for some kind of continuation of the conversation. When it didn't come, Sam cleared his throat.

"Thank you for coming, I know it must not have been easy" he said.

"No one knows I've come, not even Emmett" she said, a slight look of fear appeared on her face but in the same instant, it was gone.

"Does Edward know about Aro's decision?" I asked

"He is… preoccupied" she said, with a smirk. I frowned in confusion which prompted her to continue, "He is living in Scotland. He has a whole new life over there... We tried to get in touch with him but it's difficult". I felt like there was something she was leaving out, but didn't bother trying to figure it out. Whatever Edward was doing, it wasn't any of my business.

We all sat in silence for a while, no one knowing what to say.

"I will get in touch when I know more. Alice is watching Aro constantly now" Rosalie said as she stood to leave. I walked her to the front door and stood there, watching, as she walked down the front steps.

"Thank you, Rose. You didn't need to do this" I said. She smiled before she turned and ran off into the night.

Jake was by my side as soon as I shut the door. He put his arms around me and held me to him. I didn't cry. I was determined to find a way to get past this.

"Alices visions have changed before, surely they can change again" I said as Jake held me tighter. He eventually pulled away and kissed me on the forehead.

"Do you want to go back out to the party?" he asked. I suddenly remembered it was our wedding day and we had a yard full of guests outside.

"I'll just go freshen up and I'll be out" I said as I headed for the bathroom. I fixed my make up and straightened my clothes and hair before heading back outside. I grabbed a fresh drink on my way and drank almost the entire thing before I got to the party. I put on my best smile and tried to forget about what was to come. I would enjoy my wedding and tomorrow we would leave on our honeymoon and I would enjoy that too.


	18. Chapter 18

I woke with a start and opened my eyes. For a moment, I didn't know where I was. I turned to my right and saw Jake next to me, looking worried.

"Are you ok babe?" he asked. I must have been dreaming. I look out the window of the plane, trying to come up with a suitable answer to hide my intense fear.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just hate flying" I lied. In fact, I had been dreaming of vampires and all the different ways they could kill me, or turn me into one of them. I didn't know which was worse.

I had never feared death, I had often welcomed it, stared it down, head on. I had dreamt of my own death many times, embraced all the possible ways in which I would die. I had once begged for my life to be taken, to be killed so that I could be turned into a vampire. There was once a time where I could think of nothing except how much I wanted to become one. I couldn't believe how absurd those thoughts were to me now. I never realised how much I loved, like, _really_ _loved_ being alive until I had truly lived with Jake.

Thinking of Jake and my family, there was nothing I could imagine that would be a worse fate than to be turned into a vampire. Frozen in time, never moving forward, never able to grow, age or have children.

Jake kissed me on the cheek, bringing me out of my deranged thoughts. I turned to him and smiled. His concerned gaze told me that he knew I was lying.

"I just really hope we have a great honeymoon" I said quietly. I looked at the time on Jakes watch. We still had a few hours till we reached our destination.

"I promise, it'll be great" Jake said with his brilliant smile. I forced myself to smile back. Something I had been doing a lot lately.

We were headed for Australia, where it was warm and sunny. We didn't book it there purposely for that reason, but since Rosalie had told us of the impending danger, I was relieved to know we would be in a sunny place that wasn't likely to be home to vampires, who sparkled in the sun. I thought about the lead up to our departure. It wasn't all smooth sailing.

 _We had danced the night away after Rosalie had left, drinking until we could no longer stomach it. We collapsed into bed some time before the sun came up and clumsily fooled around before realising it wasn't going to happen. We woke after a few hours, exhausted beyond belief. We sat around drinking some insane concoction of Embry's, in order to sober up. Jake was discussing with Sam, the logistics of us taking off for our honey moon._

 _"_ _Its ridiculous to cancel, Jacob" he had said._

 _"_ _Well, what if they come while we're gone? What if something happens?" Jake asked._

 _"_ _What's going to happen Jake? By the sounds of it, they're looking for vampires and Bella. They'll probably arrive at Forks, realise there's no vampires and no Bella, and leave" Sam said with some authority._

 _"_ _You can't order me to go" Jake said._

 _"_ _I can tell you that its ok for you to go. Better, in fact" Sam said._

 _"_ _He's right" I said "The Volturi will call my scent and when they can't find it, they'll realise I'm not there" I said. I knew that my scent would still be lingering around Forks, but it would hopefully be weak enough for them to think I am gone._

 _"_ _I just don't think I should be away when we know that something is going to happen" Jake said. I knew there was more to it. Jake wanted to be in the action, he craved it. There had once been a time, months, where he was running on pure adrenalin and up until now, there had been no vampires to worry about, no guarding to be done, no fighting to prepare for. He wanted to stay to prepare for a fight._

 _"_ _We need this, Jake. It's our honeymoon… Besides, Rosalie said they weren't exactly sure when it would happen. If she gives us the call, we can pack up and leave straight away if that's what you want" I all but begged. If this was going to happen, if the Volturi were coming, I would spend my final days in happiness, with my husband._

 _It took a while, but Jake relented and we grabbed our already packed bags and headed for the airport._

The plane circled Sydney airport a few times, waiting its turn to land. I looked out the window at the scenery. It was amazing. I had seen photos but nothing compared to the majesty of seeing it in person.

As the plane landed and pulled into the gate, I smiled, a real smile this time, at my husband. We had arrived.

We stepped off the plane, hand in hand, carrying our hand luggage. We collected out luggage and made it through customs fairly quickly. Before long, we were outside of the airport and looking for a taxi. We had two days to spend in the heart of Sydney before we were leaving on a two-week guided tour of the most amazing parts of the country. We arrived out the front of an amazing hotel and were led inside by the door man, who piled our bags onto a luggage rack.

The receptionists were really friendly and I adored their strange, laid back accents. When we arrived in our room, there was chocolates and champagne waiting for us, as well as red roses and a beautiful food hamper. I opened the curtains and looked out over the city. We had a perfect view of the harbour, which I really wanted to explore after we had had an opportunity to rest, eat and shower.

Jake was sitting on the bed, clearly checking out the comfort level.

"It's not too bad" he said.

"Come and see this view" I said. I opened the double doors that led to an open balcony. As Jake came over, I stepped out and rested my arms on the railing. Jake came and put his arms around me from behind and kissed me on the temple. I felt so safe, so loved and so at ease.

"Have I ever thanked you for not giving up on me?" I asked.

"Nope" he shook his head as he turned me around to face him, still wrapped in his arms. I kissed him, running my hands through his hair, as a tear ran down my cheek.

"Are you sad?" he asked, noticing my strange display of emotion.

"No, I'm happy. I'm really, really happy" I said, laughing as another tear rolled down my face.

Jake wiped the tears away with his thumb and kissed me softly on the lips.

"I loved you, Bella, from moment we met, as kids. I have never stopped loving you" he said. "You are my soul mate" he continued.

I kissed him back, then whispered "I love you too Jake", before dragging him to the bed and pulling off our clothes.

…

Night had fallen by the time we had rested and cleaned ourselves up. I was desperate to see some sights, even though it was late. We headed down to the lobby and out onto the street where it was full of people. We headed in the direction of the harbour and soon enough, we were greeted by lights, music and people everywhere. We found a restaurant and got a table outside so we could appreciate the atmosphere. I was in awe of the beauty of this amazing country.

When we finished out meal, we took a stroll along the harbourfront. We noticed a wildlife zoo and made a mental note to go tomorrow in our free day. I was excited to see some native Australian animals.

We eventually made our way back to the hotel and both of us almost instantly fell into bed, fully clothed.

When morning came, I woke feeling refreshed and ready to take on a new day in Australia. I made coffee for Jake and I before calling for room service. Jake slept while I showered, and was still asleep when I got out, dressed and answered the door to room service. Jake woke as soon as the smell of a full breakfast hit the room. He smiled before he opened his eyes and I leant down to kiss him. He took the opportunity to grab me, pulling me into bed with him. He was so playful in the mornings.

"Good morning" I said.

"hmmmm" he relied.

"I got us breakfast" I said.

"Breakfast can wait" he said with a playful smile as he began kissing my neck. I was too weak to refuse his charms and before long, we were making love under the sheets.

After we ate breakfast and had yet another shower, we were dressed and heading down the lift to visit the wildlife zoo. We spent the morning wandering through the park, admiring Australia's animals, wishing we could forget the rest of the world and stay in this amazing city forever.

The rest of our day flew by faster than we thought possible and before long, we were back in our hotel room, collapsing on our bed in exhaustion.

The following morning, we woke early and packed our bags, ready to embark on our guided adventure tour. We would see every amazing feature this wonderful country had to offer, from the pristine waters of the Great Barrier Reef, to Uluru, which was an ancient rock in the heart of the red sandy desert that stood almost 3000 feet high.

We travelled by coach and by plane around the country, up and down the coastlines, visiting some places whose beauty a person could only dream of.

By the end of the 15th day, we arrived back at Sydney airport and were shuttled by mini-bus to Bondi where we would stay for the last few days of our honeymoon. We had been told that this was the best place to be, if you wanted to see what Australia had to offer in the way of beaches.

We spent the days relaxing on the beach, swimming in the ocean and enjoying great food. There were many times where girls would walk past my shirtless husband and stare at his perfect body. At first, I got mad, but after a while, it made me happy to know that others wanted him and only I could have him. It wasn't till Jake mentioned it that I realised men were staring at me too. I hadn't ever thought of myself as very pretty, but something about this country, the sun, the freedom to just relax, made my skin glow. I was feeling amazing too. Time away certainly agreed with me.

Before too long, however, it was time to pack our things and head back to reality. I hadn't thought of the vampires at all since we arrived but the idea of returning to our regular lives brought it all back.

As we got into the taxi to head to the airport, I shuddered at the thought of vampires being in Forks, but I knew that no word from Rosalie meant we were safe, for now.

The flight home was non-eventful. We watched a movie, ate some crappy food and slept on and off. The dreams returned and I found myself waking in a cold sweat with Jake sleeping soundly beside me. I began to consider ideas that would keep him safe, however, I knew that if I went behind his back and faced the Volturi on my own, he would never forgive me. We were now a team and we had to face this together. I closed my eyes again, hoping that I would have a dreamless sleep for the rest of the flight, but once again, vampires plagued my unconsciousness, infecting me with their venom, turning me into a red eyed, constantly thirsty monster.

We arrived at Seattle airport, greeted by Charlie who hugged me tight when he saw me.

"Jeez Bells, you're looking great!" he said. "That sun certainly agreed with you" he continued. I blushed. I wasn't used to accepting compliments, especially from my father.

"Thanks dad. We had a great time, Australia is amazing!" I said, with as much excitement as I could muster.

The long ride home was filled with talk of our adventures. I told Charlie all about the things we had seen and done and he laughed when I went on about the number of women who were ogling Jake every time he took his shirt off.

I had missed Charlie.

Charlie pulled into our driveway and helped us with our bags. I opened the front door and suddenly felt at ease. It was good to be home.

Within a few hours, Charlie had gone home and we were unpacking our luggage. As I was unpacking my toiletries, I noticed I had a whole packet of tampax that hadn't been used. I checked my calendar on my phone and realised that I had skipped a period while we were in Australia. I didn't think much of it because I was used to having an irregular cycle and being away meant that I was likely to be off anyway. I put everything away and strolled back into the living room where I found Jake. He was browsing through the mail that we had received since being away. There was nothing of importance apart from a few bills and some belated congratulatory cards.

We both headed for the couch and collapsed onto it as Jake switched on the TV. As I laid back in Jakes arms, I forgot about the vampires and my irregular cycle and closed my eyes. I fell into a dreamless sleep and was woken by Jake a couple of hours later as he was carrying me to bed. I felt completely at home, safe and secure in Jakes arms.

…

Life quickly returned to normal as we settled back into our routine. We both returned to work after the weekend and got back into the swing of our busy lives. I was working on a story about Australia, using what I learnt on our trip and some extra research to guide my work. Jake had a full work load, which had built up while we were away so we were both very busy.

A week after we returned to work, I had begun to feel sick – run down, lethargic and sometimes light headed. I put it down to being so busy with work and returning from our honeymoon, but booked in to see my doctor anyway, on Jakes orders. He worried about me when I wasn't well, and although I said I felt fine, he insisted I get checked over anyway.

I sat in the waiting room of the doctor's office on my lunch break, texting Jake.

To: Jake – From: Bella  
Hey babe, I'm in the waiting room at the doctor. I will let you know what she says. Love u xx

To Bella – From Jake  
Hi wifey, thank you for doing this. I just want to make sure you're ok. I love you too

To Jake – From Bella  
Yes, well, this is my lunch hour so you owe me, big time ;-)

To Bella – From Jake  
I owe you do i? What is the price?

To Jake – From Bella  
Something kinky :-D

To Bella – From Jake  
I can work with that

I put my phone into my bag as my name was called. I went in to the doctor's office and sat down.

"So, Bella, how was your honeymoon?" she asked.

"It was amazing, Australia is a beautiful place" I said.

"So, what has brought you in today?" she asked, opening my file on her computer.

"I think I'm fine… I'm mostly here just to keep Jake off my back" I began. She turned and smiled at me. "I'm just feeling a bit run down since getting back, that's all" I said.

"How long have you been back?" she asked.

"A week"

"And what sort of things are you experiencing?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, I'm just feeling tired and sometimes a bit light headed. I think I just need to drink more water to be honest" I said. I didn't want to make a big deal out of this.

"It sounds like you've jumped back into work quite quickly, but I'll do some tests anyway" she said. I smiled.

She took some blood which she labelled and stored away and got me to give a urine sample. She took the sample I gave her and ran some tests on it right there in her office. When she was done, she turned to me, a smile on her face.

"Bella, when was your last period?" she asked.

"They're usually pretty irregular. I guess a couple of months ago," I said as I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm not surprised" she began… "You're pregnant"


	19. Chapter 19

**AN- This is another chapter that i have had to redo months after posting due to formatting issues. Thanks to Arwengeld for the heads up.**

I took the short walk back to work with my head in a daze. How could I be pregnant? What will Jake think?

I was running on auto pilot as I finished up the workday and headed to the drugstore to get the necessary vitamins and things recommended by the doctor.

I wondered how Jake would take the news, if he would be happy or if this would ruin all our plans to travel the world and enjoy each other some more before being tied down.

I imagined all the ways I could tell him and then all the ways he could potentially react. I feared the reaction of Emily who had been trying to get pregnant for so long without success. I wondered how Charlie would take the news that he would be a grandparent.

While I was considering everyone else's reactions, I realised I had barely had time to process this myself. The initial shock was wearing off and I was now facing the reality that I was going to be a mother in a matter of months.

My gut instinct was that I was completely and utterly scared out of my mind. I hadn't aspired to have children just yet - not for the next 5 or so years at least. In all the conversations that Jake and I had had about our future, children had always seemed like something that was far off in the distance. Like a goal that we might consider working towards someday.

I contemplated this pregnancy and everything it entailed and realised that I had no idea how I felt about it. I got into my car to drive home and decided that I had to just tell Jake. No fuss, no messing around. I would tell Jake and then we would decide together how we felt about it.

I drove into the driveway and noticed, strangely, that Jake's car was already there. He didn't usually arrive home until late, especially since returning after our honeymoon. I pulled into my spot and shut off the engine. I stuffed the drugstore bag into a backpack that I had in the car and took it inside.

As I entered the front door, I noticed a beautiful bunch of flowers on the entrance table. I leant in to smell them and the fragrance was overwhelming. A symptom, no doubt, of being pregnant. As I turned, I was enveloped in Jakes strong arms. I looked into his face, the face of someone who had no idea his life was about to get really complicated, and kissed him, the way I usually did when I saw him after work. I wrapped my arms around him and nuzzled my cheek into his chest. I felt all of the day's anxiety slowly start to dissipate as we stood holding each other in the entry way of our home. I closed my eyes, trying to mentally prepare myself for what was to come.

"Are you ok?" Jake asked, seeming to sense my tension. I pulled back a little so I could look at his face. He looked concerned.

"You didn't tell me how you went at the doctors" he said.

"Oh yeah sorry, I got busy with work" I said. I had no idea why I was trying to cover for myself. "Well, actually, there is something.." I said.

Jake suddenly looked afraid. "What is it? Are you ok? Is everything alright?" he asked, panic starting to creep over him.

"Yes! Jake, I'm ok… But there is something I need to tell you" I said. This wasn't going how I had planned in my head.

"ok, what is it?" he asked.

"can we sit?" I asked, feeling suddenly dizzy. I wasn't sure if it was related to the pregnancy or if it was my nerves that were taking over my body.

We walked over to the couch and sat down. Jake took my hand and looked me in the eyes. His gaze was intense.

"Jake…. I'm pregnant" I said. There was a long pause while I watched Jake's face morph into several expressions at once. After what felt like the longest time, his face formed the biggest smile I had seen on his face in the whole time I had known him and he pulled my face to his and kissed me.

"You're happy" it was both a statement and a question. I was so anxious.

"Hell yes I'm happy babe! We're going to have a baby! A little version of us!" he said. His excitement was infectious and I began to feel my anxiety leave, once again.

"I was so scared you'd be upset" I admitted. He suddenly looked worried again.

"Why would I be upset? This is the best news ever" he said.

"It wasn't exactly in our five year plan" I said.

"I know, but that's what makes it all the more special" he said "this is meant to be, Bells" he said. We sat in silence for a few moments before he knelt down on the floor and put his hands to my belly.

"Jake, you can't feel anything yet" I said with a giggle.

"I know, but this is our baby in here" he said as he looked at me. He leant down and kissed my belly, causing tears to form in my eyes. I took Jakes face in both of my hands and pulled his face to mine, kissing him gently on the lips.

"We're going to be parents, Jake!" I said, happiness finally beginning to register in my mind. This was a good thing. Jake was happy, no, Jake was over the moon about this baby.

Jake stood up and pulled me to my feet. He grabbed me, picked me up and spun me around. When he put me down, he held me for a while, knowing all too well that I was unsteady on my feet at the best of times. He kissed me in a way that said so much more than words ever could. Everything would be ok. I could feel it.

…

The following day, I had arranged to have a scan done to check the due date of the baby. Jake had been adamant that he would be as involved in this process as he could, without actually carrying the baby himself. He even downloaded an app to his phone that would tell him everything at every stage of the pregnancy. He was more prepared than I was.

We arrived at the sonographer's office in Port Angeles and sat down in the waiting room. I filled out some paperwork as Jake flicked through a magazine. It seemed like we were waiting a long time before my name was called. I wasn't used to being called 'Bella Black' but I loved how it sounded.

We entered the little room, hand in hand and I was instructed to lay on the bed. The ultra sound machine started up with a buzz and I grinned at Jake who was smiling back.

As the sonographer put the cold gel on my stomach I grabbed Jakes hand to steady my heart. I felt like it would burst out of my chest in excitement. She put the device on my skin and I looked to the screen. Initially, I saw a mess of grey, black and white. The sonographer began clicking some buttons and typing on the keyboard, seemingly seeing something I couldn't. I initially worried until I saw her smile.

"Do you see that there?" she pointed to a little blob the screen. I nodded. "That is your baby" she said with a smile. I turned to Jake, who's eyes were shining with emotion.

"It looks a bit strange now, but one you look this way…..." she paused.

"What?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong… Just… Do you have any twins in your family?" she asked. My jaw dropped. Twins?

"um… no, I don't think so" I said.

"It looks as though… yep… you're having twins!" she said with a smile as she clicked some ore buttons and typed some more on the keyboard. I looked to Jake who seemed just as shocked as I was.

"Jake…." I said in a strange whisper. He looked at me as a single tear rolled down his face. He was happy. He leant down and kissed me.

"Twins!" he said, with a dazzling Jake-smile.

"Twins" I said, returning his smile.

The sonographer finished up and gave me some paper towel to wipe off the goo from my belly.

"It looks as though you're about 8 weeks along" she said, handing me a couple of print outs of our little blobs.

Jake took out his phone and tapped some things on his pregnancy tracker app and turned it to show me. It displayed a picture of a raspberry, indicating that this was the size of the baby… babies. It would take a while for me to get the idea of two babies into my head.

We left the sonographers office and said goodbye in the car-park. We came in separate cars so we could both go to work. Jake wrapped his huge strong arms around me and kissed my temple, in the way that was _so_ Jake. I felt comforted. I felt like as long as he was around, nothing could go wrong.

"When do we tell people?" he asked.

"hmm, I'm not sure" I said. "Usually people wait till around 12 weeks or so but im not sure I can hold onto this secret for another 4 weeks" I said.

"I know what you mean, I feel like I want to shout it from the roof tops" Jake said. He hadn't stopped smiling since yesterday afternoon when I told him I was pregnant. There was no way we could keep this a secret.

"How about we have a get together and a bonfire this weekend. Saturday?" I suggested.

"Sounds like a great idea" Jake said "You tell Charlie and Mandy and I'll get the others to come" he said.

Jake unlocked his car and kissed me before hopping in and driving away. With all things baby on my mind, I got into my car and drive to work. It would be difficult to last the week without telling anybody, but it felt good to hold onto this as our little secret for just a few days.

I smiled to myself as I drove the short distance to my work. I wondered how I got so lucky.

…

Saturday rolled around quicker than I had anticipated and before long, the BBQ was cooking and there was a pack of huge men surrounding a pile of wood getting a fire going.

Mandy was in the kitchen helping me prepare some salads and things, telling me all about her latest fling. She was seeing some guy who worked in a law firm and he had taken her away last weekend. They spent most of their time in the bedroom of the cabin they were staying at and almost no time at the beach.

I thought to myself how different our lives were. She was living this insane life of travelling around the country with a different guy every month and I was married with a house and pregnant with twins. I laughed to myself as I thought about how things had turned out. I never saw myself as a housewife until now but I liked the idea of it.

As Mandy and I carried the bowls outside, Jake called everyone to the table. As people got their food and took their seats, I looked at Jake who nodded, indicating that it was time to tell people our news.

I moved over to Jake and we both stood at the head of the table.

"So, if we could just have everyone's attention for just a minute, there is something we want to say" Jake began.

"Just a minute though, I'm starving" Quill called from down the table.

"Firstly, thanks everyone for coming on such short notice, I know it's a bit far for some of you to travel, so I just want to say thanks". Jake paused and looked at me. I ever so subtly shook my head, indicating to Jake that there was no way I was going to be doing the talking.

"Well, Bella and I are going to be parents" Jake said, his classic smile beaming across his face. There was commotion all around the table, yells of congratulations an "OH MY GOSH" from Mandy and a "Good one bro" from one of the guys.

"And its twins" I called out suddenly, not wanting to hold out any longer. I glanced at Charlie who was sitting rather quietly. I didn't know what to make of his silence, so I moved around the table to where he was and asked if he was ok.

"Bella, I just can't believe I'm going to be a grandpa!" he said, his eyes shiny with tears. "And twins? Where did that come from?"

"We don't know, it was a bit of a surprise to us" I said.

When most of the commotion died down and everyone took their seats again after hugging and high fiving and congratulating us, Sam got up to speak.

"Jacob, I just want to say congratulations to you and Bella. You will both make great parents" he raised his glass "Cheers!". There was a chorus of 'cheers' around the table before Sam spoke again.

"I just think this is great. Perfect actually. Because Emily and I are expecting a baby too!". Sam put his arm around Emily's shoulders and kissed her temple. There were more cheers and yelling from around the table followed by more hugging and congratulating. Jake was smiling from ear to ear as he returned to his seat next to me. I turned to Jake and smiled. We were surrounded by friends and family, just as we should be. I kissed him once on the lips and said,

"This is perfect babe"

"yeah, almost" he finished. I noticed a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"I bet Billy is here in spirit" I said the only thing that came to my mind. I wanted Jake to know that I could see his sadness and that I was there for him, but I also wanted to tell him that if there was a way that Billy could be here, he would.

Jake kissed me again as everyone dug into their food.

I was half way through eating when I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I ignored it, until it buzzed again. I looked to Jake as I fished my phone out of my pocket.

"It's probably just work. I'll see what they want and turn it off" I said.

As I unlocked my phone, I saw the one name I had been dreading to see for weeks. Jake glanced over my shoulder and mimicked the horrified look that was now all over my face.

To: Bella – From: Rosalie  
The Volturi have decided

To: Bella – From: Rosalie  
They will be there in three days.


	20. Chapter 20

I felt the colour drain out of my face as I read and re read the messages from Rosalie. I looked up at Jake who had seen the message when I opened it. He was looking to Sam who seemed to noticed the wordless exchange between Jake and me.

I got up to go into the house so I could take stock of myself and catch my breath. Jake and Sam followed. As I walked into the living room and collapsed onto the couch I barely heard the conversation between Jake and Sam.

"They're coming?" Sam asked.

"We have three days" Jake said.

My thoughts were running wild. I knew this was coming, I knew since the wedding that they were coming for me, but with so much happening I had let it slip to the back of my mind and allowed myself to be carried away with how happy I was.

"Do we run? Jake asked Sam.

Run? The thought crossed my mind. Run away from our home, leave this place for who knows how long? That isn't possible. I wouldn't abandon my home, my family, my pack. After all, the pack was now as much mine as it was Jakes.

"We can't run" I said quietly.

"She's right" Jake said "They'll still come and when they don't find her…"

"They'll kill people till they get answers" I finished Jake's sentence. There was no use sugar coating it. They wanted me. I had broken the rules and I had to be punished.

"We can fight them" Sam said in an almost questioning tone.

"They have abilities Sam, abilities that could put everyone down in one go" I answered.

"What do we do then?" Jake asked. His face was pleading, searching, desperate for answers.

"I'll have to face them, let them see that I'm pregnant, let them see that I am no threat to their existence" I said, hopeful that it would go as smoothly as I was trying to convey it would.

"Do you think it's possible? Will they just let it go?"

No, I thought.

"Yes" I said, trying to sound convincing. "They don't kill babies. Once they see that I'm pregnant, they'll be ok with it".

I looked everywhere around the room except at Jake. I didn't want to look him in the eye, because I knew that as soon as I did, he would see how afraid I was and know I was lying, not only to him, but to myself.

I looked down to notice my phone was still in my hand. I decided that I needed to text Rosalie back to assure her that I had received her text.

To Rosalie – From Bella  
Got your text. Thank you for letting me know.

I sent it and almost immediately came her reply.

To Bella – From Rosalie  
Tell me you have a plan?

I hesitated. I didn't want to tell her that I was planning on meeting with Aro to beg him to spare my humanity.

To Rosalie – From Bella  
I do.

To Bella – From Rosalie  
Well…?

Was she really going to push this?

To Rosalie – From Bella  
Don't worry, it's all under control.

I began to think she was a robot, her texts were coming back almost as quickly as I sent them. I then remembered that she is a vampire and can most likely type quicker than I can blink.

To Bella – From Rosalie  
Bella, you can't run from them

To Rosalie – from Bella  
I know, I'm not planning on running. I will face the Volturi and I'm hoping they will understand.

Rosalie didn't text back and for that, I was glad. I had already been inside for so long and had guests outside waiting for me. I had become quite skilled at hiding my worry from those around me, so I took Jake by the hand, walked to the kitchen and grabbed a cake from the island bench and went back outside to my guests.

I watched as Sam sat down next to Emily and whispered in her ear. I knew that she now knew what was going to happen in three days' time. I wasn't mad, I was grateful that I would have someone to talk to besides Jake. Emily gave me a look of sympathy that I knew I would receive a lot over the coming days.

I realised that I had seen that look before. It was the same look that people gave to Billy when he was in the final stages of his life.

I had a timer on my head. I was walking and breathing but in their minds, I was already dead. I was finding it more and more difficult to hide my feelings behind the face that I had put on show for everyone. I glanced at Emily and threw her a smile that indicated I was fine. Until then, I had been.

I was hopeful that I could talk the Volturi, that they would hear the two rapid heartbeats coming from inside my body and they would spare me. I hoped that they would see that I am now married to Jake and vampires are the furthest thing from my mind. That Edward and the rest of the Cullens were somewhere far away from here. I was merely a human being who longed to live a natural human life with the man I love. In the pit of my stomach though, I knew that the Volturi were not known for forgiveness, kindness or compassion. Their rules had been broken and the punishment for that was death.

I glanced around the table at the people who were gathered in our back yard. Just half an hour ago, we were announcing our pregnancy, laughing and smiling at what the future would hold without a care in the world. Now I was putting on a fake smile, fake-laughing at Jake's fake jokes, and hoping that this wouldn't be the last time I would see these people who meant so much to me.

I thought about my short life and about what I had accomplished in the years since I arrived in Forks. I had almost died, more than once. I had loved, lost and loved again only to discover it was all a lie. I had discovered the intense love that I had for Jake and we had lived an amazing life together for these last few years.

We had bought out own home and travelled. We have experienced life in a faraway place that we never thought we would see and now we were facing the possibility of being separated by death, on the cusp of becoming parents. I suddenly felt for Jake. If things didn't go the way I hoped they would, he would be alone. Just this morning we were contemplating becoming a family of four. Now in only a matter of days, he might be all alone.

This brought a tear to my eyes and I frantically wiped them away. Jake noticed and put his arm around me. He kissed my temple and pulled me close to him. I looked up at him, wanting him to know what I was thinking.

"I love you so much" I said in a whisper.

"I know Bells, I love you too. We'll be ok" he said.

As we all finished out meals and the younger guys from the pack were sent inside to clean up, I pulled my chair to the fireside next to Charlie.

"Hey Bella, how ya feeling?" he said.

"Yeah, I'm good dad", I lied. I rested my head on his shoulder as we sat there staring into the fire.

"I'm proud of you Bells" he said, after some time had passed. Tears formed in my eyes.

"Thanks dad. That really means a lot" I said, swallowing the lump that formed in my throat.

We sat there in silence and stared into the fire. Neither of us felt like we had to say anything to fill the silence. I looked over to where Jake was huddled with the pack, talking furiously. I didn't see what was left to talk about. I would face the Volturi on my own and plead my case. I had accepted the fact that I might die, but I would not go down without a fight. I had accepted the possibility of my imminent death in the past, however, now I had something to live for. Two very important things, besides my husband and family.


	21. Chapter 21

Over the next few days, I could think of nothing else but how scared I was at the possibility of dying. Jake and I both called in sick to work so we could be ready in case they came early. After all, Alice's visions could change depending on the decisions of the Volturi.

I hadn't heard from Rosalie since she told me that I couldn't run from this.

The morning of Tuesday arrived and as Jake and I sat down for breakfast, I noticed Jakes growing irritation.

"Is everything ok babe?" I asked, "aside from the obvious" I added.

"No, actually it's not" he began. I raised an eyebrow, curious as to what else could be troubling Jake on this particular day. "This is all _their_ fault. All _their_ doing, but where the hell are they?!" he said, the anger obvious in his voice.

"I guess this just isn't about them" I said. I wanted to reassure Jake that the Cullens' didn't need to be here, that it wasn't their problem, but in reality, I was pissed that they were choosing to stay out of it. If it hadn't been for them, for _Edward_ , none of this would be happening. I could be happily enjoying being pregnant, painting the nursery and making kissy faces at my husband.

"It is ALL about them!" Jake said, now getting riled up.

"You're right" I said, keeping my voice calm, "but we don't need them" I added.

"That's true, it's not like they could _do_ anything anyway" Jake said, starting to calm down.

I got up and took my breakfast bowl to the kitchen. When I returned to the table, I put my arms around Jakes neck from behind, and held onto him. I really hoped that this wouldn't be one of the last times I could just hold my Jacob.

After we had cleaned up, Sam arrived with Embry and Paul. The rest of the pack were going to be in their wolf form, in the tree line that surrounded the house. They had spent most of their time over the last three days phasing and training, to prepare just in case there was a fight. Almost all the pack members had stopped phasing when the threat of vampires had gone, so there was a need to practice.

We had planned to make a day of it, spending our time in the yard, talking about the old times. Paul was making fun of Jake and I for all the messing around we did when I was fighting my feelings. Looking back, its easy to laugh, but at the time, I was really messed up. I thought I was recovering from a broken heart, but what was really happening for me, was withdrawal. I had been addicted to Edwards scent. My body needed it. That is what drove those months of delirium and insanity. Just when I thought I was going to beat it, he came back into my life and brought all his chaos with him.

We were just laughing about the time when I punched Jake for kissing me, when we heard a howl from the tree line. Someone was here.

Embry immediately got up from his seat and phased on the fly as he headed for the trees. He was back within seconds and I turned my head as he phased back and Jake threw him some cut offs.

"It's not the Volturi" he began. "It's Edward… and a female vampire we've never crossed before" he said.

My heart sank. What was Edward doing here? And who was the unknown female that was with him? The last time I had seen Edward I had broken up with him and he just left, heartbroken. I hoped that he would be able to put all of that aside if we were to come face to face.

We looked around the yard, waiting for something to happen. I moved closer to Jake and I held onto his hand as though it was the one thing that held me to the planet.

It was like an illusion, the moment I saw Edward walking towards me. Flashbacks of the first time I saw him entered my mind, but were gone as soon as Jacob gently squeezed my hand.

Jake knew me all too well. He knew this was going to be difficult for me. He knew the effect that Edward had had on me in the past, I only hoped that with time, things were different. There was only one way to find out, and as Edward and this mystery woman grew closer, I felt their presence, but the only thing it brought me, was disgust. There was no sweet lingering smell in the air, no beauty in Edward's physical appearance. The smell that was growing stronger was unexplainable. I turned to look at Jake whose nose was crinkled in disgust. I assumed that with the pregnancy, my sense of smell would grow stronger, but the scent that was drifting closer to me was almost sickening.

Looking at Edward, as he walked closer, I could see no remarkable god-like features that I used to notice whenever I looked at him. He now looked completely unremarkable. The hand of mine that wasn't being held by Jake's, automatically moved to my stomach and I instantly knew that the change in the way Edward affected me was due to the babies. They were part wolf. _I_ was now part wolf.

Edward drew closer, within speaking distance. I noticed the female vampire who was with him was strangely close to him. She was looking affectionately at him, and back to us. Affectionately? This interested me. Had Edward found someone? Another vampire?

"Hello Bella, Jake" he began. He nodded to Sam, Paul and Embry "Sam, Paul, Embry… This is Irina" he gestured to the female vampire.

"Hello" she said. "I'm Edwards girlfriend, it's nice to finally meet you Bella" she added.

Edward smirked and gave a slight nod, and I wasn't sure what it was in response to until I heard an almost silent chuckle come from Jake. I would have to find out what unsaid thought had been exchanged.

"It's nice to meet you too Irina" I said, trying my best to be polite. "I didn't know you were coming" I added, directed to Edward.

"I didn't want Alice to see it, she's been watching my decisions" Edward said.

"Right" I said, not really knowing what else to say. This felt quite awkward. "Come and sit, won't you both? I'm sure there's plenty to talk about". I gestured to the seating area where just a few days before we had announced our pregnancy.

We all went and sat in awkward silence as I tried to think of a conversation starter. I noticed Edward was staring intently at Jake, who was watching Edward back with equal intensity. Every now and then, Edward would make small, but noticeable gestures with his head, nodding or moving from side to side in response to things that Jake was obviously asking.

"Are we all going to be let in on this little conversation?" I asked, irritated, gesturing at both Jake and Edward.

"Forgive me, Bella, Jake was just asking what my intentions here were" Edward said.

"And?" I asked, urging him to answer.

"I'm here in hopes that I can help to persuade the Volturi to spare your lives" he answered.

"Lives? You mean Jake is in danger too?"

"The lives of you and your babies, Bella" he continued. He knew.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"I can hear them" he began. My face must have given away my shock. Surely, they are not developed enough to have intelligible thoughts.

"Obviously, I can't hear what they're thinking, but I can hear their heartbeats" he said. Did he hear _my_ thoughts? He seemed to answer my unasked question. "Congratulations to you both" he added.

"So you think the Volturi will listen to reason?" I asked.

"I wasn't sure. Even when I arrived I had no way of knowing how this was going to turn out, but I think that when they realise you're pregnant, they may change their minds" he said.

"What else has Alice seen?" I asked, desperate to know what my future holds.

"She can't see past the wolves, you know this" he said. I wasn't convinced.

"I don't believe you" I said.

"What do you want to hear Bella?" he asked, seeming irritated.

"The truth, how about that?" I spat back. I had never spoken to him like this before.

Jake held onto my hand again and I immediately calmed.

"It's interesting how easily you're calmed by his touch" Edward said.

"Don't change the subject Edward, tell me what you know. _All of it_ " I said.

"Fine… Alice saw the Volturi's decision to come here. She tried to watch your future but it's so entwined with the wolves and this pregnancy that she's blind to you. She can't see you at all. She has been following Charlie and saw him deciding on funeral arrangements" He said. My face dropped.

"So, that's it then" I said.

"No! That's _not_ it!" Jake said. "He is here, he will talk to them" gesturing to Edward. "They will see that you're pregnant and that you don't associate with _their_ kind anymore and leave" he continued.

There was silence around the table.

"So…" I began, "How did you two get together?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, it's a long story, really" Irina said, "Silly really" she continued with a giggle.

"Well, we seem to have time" I said, looking to Edward.

"We were both at the same place at the same time, in more ways than one. We found comfort in each other and began a relationship" he said, almost too fast, as though he was reluctant to share the information.

"Well, I'm happy for you both" I said, with as much of a forced smile that I could conjure up. As long as he had someone and hadn't been pining for me these past few years, I didn't care who he was with.

"I must say," Irina began, "It was a little worried about coming here, with all the history that you both share" she said. "But it seems as though it's all water under the bridge" she said with a smile. She seemed to smile a lot. Once upon a time it may have had an impact on me, but now it just confused and annoyed me. She was trying too hard to be nice.

After the initial awkwardness had resolved, talking to Edward and Irina somehow became less forced. We talked about our wedding and the honeymoon. I hesitated before telling Edward about how happy we had been, but as I watched the interaction between Edward and Irina, I was certain that he was happy with her.

Even though I knew that a vampire loves more intensely and more permanently than a human does, it was clear that Edward had moved on, at least on the surface. Him and Irina would touch each other randomly and I noticed they'd often glanced at each other in a similar way to how Jake and I look lovingly at each other. Either way, I was glad to be able to sit and talk about our lives and how happy we had both turned out to be.

Irina was keen to hear all about Australia. It wasn't exactly a place they could just visit on a whim due to the sunny conditions, so places like that intrigued vampires, it seemed. It was just another thing that made me grateful to have my humanity.

Thinking of this made me remember why these two vampires had come and I immediately change the topic of conversation.

"So, what exactly is the plan for when the Volturi arrived?" I asked suddenly, to the shock of everyone who had been sitting in silence.

"Well, I was just going to talk to them, let Aro see what I have seen and hope that he decides to change his mind about what he plans to do with you" Edward said.

"Kill me, you mean" I said, quietly.

"It's more than that. He wants to turn you himself and take you back to Voltera" Edward said. I shuddered.

As the thought of that washed over everyone who was gathered in my yard, there was another howl from the tree line. Edward suddenly stood, a bit too fast, sending his chair flying.

"They're here. I can hear them" he said.

I stood up and started looking frantically around the yard.

"Where are they coming from?" I asked.

Jake was looking off into a direction through the trees. He could clearly see something that I couldn't. Edward and Irina were looking in the same direction. It felt as though an eternity had passed before I saw the black cloaks of the ancient vampires, almost floating towards us.

Aro was in the lead, followed by Caius, Marcus, Jane and Alec. I knew immediately that the idea of a fight was out of the picture. I looked to Jake, wordlessly begging him to hear me plead to him not to start a fight. If he did, we would lose.

The clan of vampires inched closer and closer until they were ten feet away from where I stood. There was a long exchange of glances, Edward was eyeing each of them, one by one, nodding here and there, frowning occasionally and eventually smiling a small smile. What did that mean?

Aro raised his hands and clasped them together in front of him.

"Bella…." He began, "So lovely to see you again" he said.

"I wish I could say the same" I said in reply. He frowned and I thought I should make myself clear "I had hoped that given the circumstances…" I looked to Edward who was standing close to Irina, "…that there would be no need for you to come here".

Aro looked me up and down and, suddenly a bright smile appeared on his face. Edward also smiled and nodded in Aro's direction.

"Isabella, how interesting to see the path that you have chosen. I would not have guessed that the two of you would part ways. Things have indeed changed" he said.

"Bella and I have not been together in over four years, Aro. Bella is married and is expecting twins. I have moved on myself and found a new life with Irina" Edward said, gesturing to Irina who was standing by his side.

"Hmm, yes, I can see that things are not as they once were. Still, I must see for myself" Aro said, gesturing to Edward. Edward moved forward and held his hand out for Aro to 'see' the things he had seen. Aro took Edwards hands in his and closed his eyes as he experienced the memories in Edwards mind.

Minutes or hours passed, I couldn't tell, before he released Edward's hand from his grip.

"Ahh, I see" Aro said. "Very interesting".

"What is it master?" Jane asked, seeming anxious, I was guessing, to put on a full display of her talents.

"There has been much change in the lives of these young ones" Aro said. Jane didn't look impressed.

"Even so…" Marcus began, "the laws have been broken, a human has been made aware of our existence and has not been properly silenced" he finished. I unconsciously shook my head.

"I haven't said a word to anyone… I wouldn't! No one would believe me, even if I did" I said. It was almost a plead.

"We were assured you would be turned" Jane said with a raised eyebrow.

"That was the plan, but I changed my mind when I realised the truth about my relationship with Edward" I said. Jane looked to Aro, who simply nodded.

"And you're pregnant to this…. Wolf?" Caius asked.

"I am. And we are married" I said.

"Regardless of the current situation, the rules have been broken and there needs to be a punishment" Jane said, her desire for pain and punishment evident in her tone.

I held on to Jake's hand a little tighter, my other hand instinctively covering my belly. This move was not unnoticed by Aro.

"I think we need to take it account the gravity of the situation" Aro said simplistically as he glanced to my stomach.

"Bella is pregnant, if you harm her, you will harm the unborn babies" Edward said calmly.

"What is it that you want?" Jake asked, breaking his silence.

"We want our laws to be acknowledged and the appropriate punishment to be dealt" Caius said.

"I have been punished!" I replied. "I was lured into a relationship by Edward. None of it was my choice, none of it was real! As soon as I realised, I ended it with him and have never looked back" I said, fighting back tears. There was a long silence in which Edward's face turned sour.

"Nothing will be good enough. You don't want Bella punished, this is about me and Alice" Edward said.

"Edward, I will not deny the things you have seen in my mind. It is true that I what I desire is for you to join us in Italy. Alice too" Aro said. My jaw dropped. This wasn't about me. It was about Aro trying to get what he has always wanted – power. IF he had Edward by his side, he would know the secret thoughts of everyone he came across. And if he could convince Alice to join him, he would be unstoppable.

With Aro's words, Irina realised the implications of what was about to happen.

"You can't go with them, Edward! We only just found each other. You can't leave me!" she shrieked. The sound was like nails on a chalk board to my ears.

"Irina, I have no choice. If I don't go, they will kill Bella, then kill the pack and then kill us both for good measure" Edward said. I heard Jake take in a breath as though trying to calm himself. I had guessed what would happen if Edward refused to join them, but to hear him say it out loud was shocking.

"So you're going to give up your life, everything you've worked for these last few years, even _me_ , to save _her?_ " Irina said to Edward. If she could cry, I imagine she would have messy, ugly tears streaming down her face.

"I have no choice" Edward said, sadly.

"That's decided then. Edward, you have a week to set your affairs in order then we expect you in Volterra" Aro said, as though it had been decided.

I looked to Edward, who glanced back at me with sadness in his eyes. I realised at that point that he had never stopped loving me. He was about to sacrifice everything that made him happy in his new life, to save me. This was wrong. So wrong. Why were the men in my life always sacrificing things for me?

"No!" I yelled. "This isn't right" I continued. "Edward shouldn't have to give up his happiness to save me. There has to be a way Irina can go with him".

"There is…" Edward said suddenly, a look of realisation on his face. He smiled, then turned to Irina. "Irina, I know it is so sudden, but I love you. I want to be with you for all of eternity, but I need to make things right… Will you marry me, and join me in Volterra?" he said.

Irina's jaw fell open in shock. Everyone who stood around seemed unsure how to react. There was silence until Irina spoke.

"Of course I will marry you Edward!".

"That settles it then. Isabella is now free and Edward, you will join us for the next one hundred years, beginning in seven days' time" Aro said.

"I want a guarantee!" I said. "I'm not letting Edward give up a hundred years of his life to protect me, only to have it come back and hurt my children or my children's children" I said.

Aro seemed to think about it for a moment before he spoke.

"Ok dear Bella. No vampire will be permitted in the vicinity of your lovely town. Yourself and any generation that follows will be protected from vampires, for as long as we rein as leaders" he said.

"That includes Forks and La Push?" I asked, realising that this meant no future Quileute generations would have to phase, ever. Aro nodded.

"It's done then" Edward said. Irina nodded beside him. He shook hands with Aro and Aro and his guard turned to leave.

We all stood and watched them leave in silence. I couldn't believe it was over. I was finally free.

"I know how much you're giving up and I can't even begin to thank you" I said as I turned to Edward.

"If I hadn't gotten involved with you Bella, you would never have been in danger at all. I must do this. I need to make things right. Not for you, but for myself. For my own peace of mind. I hope you understand that it's not purely about you?" he said.

It took a while for it to sink in. When I finally realised how right Edward was, I walked slowly over to him and put my arms around him. His body was harder than I remembered and the cold was as shocking as it had ever been. I whispered my thanks in his ear and released him. Jake came over and shook his hand.

There were no more words exchanged. Everything that could be said, had been. Edward took Irina by the hand, turned, and headed away, towards the front of the house.

When they were gone, I looked around the yard at the members of the pack who had been there to witness what had happened and at the ones who were now appearing from the tree line in their human forms.

There were smiles from everyone in the pack. For them, this was a relief. It meant that unless something happens, there would be no more phasing for the following generations of Quileutes.

I held onto Jake as he pulled me in for a classic Jake hug, and as the tears fell, I couldn't decide whether they were tears of happiness or sadness. I was beyond happy that this was all over, but I was saddened for what Edward had given up to protect me and my children.

"It's all going to be ok now Bells" Jake said. I thought about this for the longest time and contemplated what it actually meant. I realised that I had spent the last 7 years of my life running from these enemies, never having the ability to truly be free. None of it had been my fault, it had all been because I had fallen for Edward's trap. Now he was finally able to make up for all these years and I had to accept it and move forward. I would live the best life that I could, knowing that it is what I deserve, what I would have lived if I hadn't been tempted by a vampire.

"Yeah, it actually is" I said.


	22. Chapter 22

THREE YEARS LATER

I woke up on the sun lounge in the yard, surrounded by the smells of the forest. I could hear giggles and squeals of delight through the trees and I smiled inwardly. I got up, looking in the direction of the noises. I ran my hands over my enormous belly as I waddled down the forest path towards the sounds.

As I rounded the corner, I saw two small children, one with short black hair, the other with waist length black hair sitting in the leaves playing with some toys.

As I approached, they turned to face me and their giggles turned to screams of delight. They got up and ran towards me, the little girl holding her brother back just before he jumped into my arms.

"Remember, Billy, we can't tackle mummy because we might hurt the baby" the girl said.

"That's right Saree, mummy is going to have that baby any day now, we have to be careful" came the voice that still made my knees weak. Jake had been watching from nearby, just out of my line of sight. He approached me and knelt down, putting his ear on my belly.

"Hey there little one, are you ready to come out today?" he said, lovingly.

"I really hope so" I said with a sigh.

Jake stood up and kissed me on the temple.

"Did you enjoy your nap?" he asked.

"mmm hmm" I said.

Jake took my hand in his as the children ran back through the forest path, towards the house. This was my life. It had its ups and downs, but overall, it was amazing.

 **AN- So that's it. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I loved writing it.**

 **I already have some changes in mind for some of the earlier chapters so stay tuned if that's your thing. Not sure how the notifications for that works. Do you get notified when someone edits a chapter? I may just post a new chapter with updates and mentions of which chapter I have updated.**

 **Thanks everyone for staying with me. Thank you all for the reviews. Please keep them coming, I love to see what everyone makes of my version of Bella.**

 **There have been some little things people have picked up and I'm so grateful for that. I do make tiny changes as people let me know so if you see something that doesn't make sense or doesn't fit, please let me know.**

 **For my go at writing fan fic, I am really pleased with what I have been able to come up with. I followed my initial plan and didn't give up when I felt like I had hit a block (when Edward left, I was stuck and had to plan out the rest of the story).**

 **For anyone interested, I MAY, sometime down the track, think about writing a sequel in the form of "Edwards Journey" through his wedding and towards the Volutri but that's just a maybe.**


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